Frustration

Today I was driving my car, rushing to get to a place on schedule after leaving myself just enough time to get there. My plans were interrupted by a freight train crossing the street I was driving on. Its in-the-city pace was maddeningly slow. I was forced to stop for a light at a one-way street that was about a half-block before the tracks. I was in the right lane and there was one vehicle ahead of me. The light was frozen on red, and was going to stay on red until the train cleared our roadway. The logical thing to do was go right on the one-way street and go a little out of the way to cross a bridge over the tracks that is located a half-mile down this side road. However, the driver in front of me either did not know about the detour or did not care about going around the obstacle. There was nothing for me to do for the next five minutes except count railroad cars. It was a real long five minutes, and a stoic I wasn't.

The best one-word description (in printable language) of my overriding emotion was frustration. It was not much different than the feeling you get when things are going bad at the poker table and you lose another pot. I did not do anything stupid, like put my fist through the windshield or get out of my car to tell the truck driver to turn right or I would ram him, but I was far from being a model of controlled emotions. However, even though the frustrations of driving and poker have a lot in common, I am one of the better players at controlling my emotions at the poker table. No, that is the wrong way to put it. I am one of the better players at controlling my actions at the poker table when I am frustrated. What I am trying to say is, my emotions are not much different than those of the steamers you see giving away their money when things are going dreadfully. But, I am able to avoid turning those emotions into detrimental actions. Being prone to anger and frustration in other areas does not necessarily translate into being a poker steamer.

If you watch the best poker players in the world, you will see few who are masters at controlling their emotions in all situations. These people, when things go badly at poker or elsewhere, get every bit as mad as the people who steam their money away. In fact, they often get even madder. The difference is, they usually do not turn these emotions into detrimental actions.

I cannot say what works for others, or even what the best antidote to detrimental action is for myself at a given point in time. But I can give you a few ideas that I have used over the years to stay out of too much trouble when things are going badly. Maybe one or more will strike a chord with you:

1. Realize that your running bad affects how others play against you. They know that a person who is stuck is more apt to get out of line. This means that when you're stuck, you have to play tighter than normal, and do less bluffing. Don't play your cards like the typical losing player does.

2. Allied with this idea is the fact that it is easier to win money when you are stuck than when you are winning. (You are just climbing from a lower rung.) When you are stuck, people pay off your hands. All you need to do is catch something and have it hold up. You can get unstuck without trying to turn garbage into gold.

3. You are supposed to take the long-term view, and try to max out for the year instead of keep score by the session. But, frankly, I am just like the rest of you: I pay lip service to this idea and hope to get out of the trap. However, realize that even when keeping score this faulty way, not all traps are of the same depth. If you don't dig a hole too deep, the cards often turn around and enable you to recover. But you have to stay within striking distance of escaping.

4. Your mother (whether alive or deceased) is of help when you're at the poker table. Pretend she is sitting next to you, itching to take a small piece of your action. Will you recommend that she take a piece of the hand you are thinking about playing? No? Hell, no? Well, muck that pig. Don't play a hand you wouldn't want your mom to invest in.

5. Do you take pride in yourself as being a good poker player? You should. It is embarrassing to be seen playing poker like a donkey. And if you steam your money off, you are playing poker like a donkey! So, protect your public image by remaining sane in the face of adversity.

6. My good friend Daniel Harrington, a great poker player, says, "My edge over the typical player when we are both running good is not nearly as great as my edge when we are both running bad." Many people can play well when things are going well. The greats play well all the time.

7. People play poker for many reasons. The main reason I play is to make money. I will grant you that it is more fun to bet, raise, reraise, and cap it than to fold. But often it is less profitable. Be aware of why you are in the game.

Discipline is hard to teach. The school of hard knocks is a much better teacher of discipline than someone like me trying to explain things. On the other hand, reading my words and using my ideas will run you a lot less in tuition. Be smart, and take the cheap education.

Editor's note: Bob Ciaffone's new book, Middle Limit Holdem Poker, co-authored with Jim Brier, is available now (332 pages, $25 plus $5 shipping and handling). This work and his other poker books, Pot-limit and No-limit Poker, Improve Your Poker, and Omaha Holdem Poker, can be ordered through Card Player. Ciaffone is available for poker lessons. E-mail [email protected] or call (989) 792-0884. His website is www.diamondcs.net/~thecoach, where you can download Robert's Rules of Poker for free.