I Taught Him Everything He Knows

Two years ago I was playing a one-table satellite at Foxwoods. Directly to my left was an overly aggressive player who reraised me every time I came into the pot. I decided that I would have to trap him to get his chips. There are a few ways to trap a person in no-limit hold'em, but this would be easy. Simply put, all I had to do was bet with the winning hand and he would come over the top of me (raise me) for all of my chips. So, I flopped a set and bet out, and the player, Paul Darden, put me to the decision for all of my chips. The decision was easy, and I called and beat his jack high. This went on for a few days. I played one-table satellites and got my chips from Paul. He was so juicy that I figured I could make a living going on the poker tour as long as Paul was there. Later, I learned that Paul is a great seven-card stud player, and was trying to learn no-limit hold'em.

A few months later, I befriended Paul, and he explained to me why he was playing no-limit. He said that stud is great, and he was making a lot of money playing it, but there wasn't any fame in winning a stud tournament. Paul wanted to make a name for himself in the poker world, and knew that winning no-limit tournaments was the key. I taught him a few concepts, and he was a quick learner. Within a day or two, he was better than I. I was fired as his clothing consultant and no-limit teacher in the same day. I wasn't bothered, because as the "Doctor of Style," I have many clients. After all, Adam Schoenfeld and Paul Phillips are two of my disciples, and both have had appearances on the Style Channel. Darden may be a better no-limit player than I am, but I dress better.

I heard through the grapevine that Paul knew he had made a big mistake by leaving me behind. He went to Phil Ivey for help. Little did he know, though, that I taught Phil Ivey how to dress and play poker, too. Thus, I worked out a deal with Ivey whereby I would receive half of the consulting fee without Paul knowing it.

Recently, I noticed that Paul was the chip leader at Lucky Chances' World Poker Tour event. I called him to wish him luck and gave him a few pointers on how to play a big stack. Paul wasn't concerned too much about that. His problem was that he wasn't dressed in his typical "playa" jumpsuit, and didn't want to embarrass himself on camera. After begging me for an hour or two, I decided to take him back. Of course, with my hand-holding, he won. He beat a tough table of Chris Bigler, Antonio Esfandiari, Phil Hellmuth, Vince Burgio, and Tommy Garza. A day later, I received a phone call thanking me for everything that I did. I said, "You are welcome." The voice on the other end of the phone said, "Do you know who this is?" I said, "OK, you called my bluff. I have no idea who you are." I guess it was Paul.

Next issue, I will tell you how Howard Lederer used everything I taught him to win the Foxwoods championship.