Obnoxious Jerks Part II: Taking Their Chips

In Part I of this column, I stated that obnoxious jerks get rewarded - both psychologically and financially - when we respond thoughtlessly to their nastiness. I also warned against reacting emotionally, then rationalizing that we are trying to accomplish some worthwhile goal, such as projecting a tough table image. It is critically important to remember this: Every time we play a hand differently because of our emotions, THEY WIN.

They win because they have put us off our game and made us respond to irrelevant factors such as their nastiness or our emotions. We beat jerks the same way we beat other players - by playing better than they do. Their chips are worth exactly as much as any other chips. Their being in the game or a pot should not affect our decisions unless their play affects our expectation. Fortunately, jerks often make mistakes - and cause other players to make mistakes - which can dramatically increase our expectation.

Exploit Strategic Errors

Many jerks play poorly. They get so emotional that they call or even raise when they should fold, make foolish bluffs, and do other silly things. They also may make other people act emotionally. In fact, their games often resemble "King of the Hill," not poker for real money. This foolishness creates highly profitable opportunities if we can stay cool and rational.

Exploit Information Management Errors

Since poker is a game of incomplete information, we can't win without managing information well. Because they react emotionally, many jerks make the two most serious information management errors: (1) They give away too much information. (2) They don't read cards well. This pattern applies even to the few jerks who play well, and it is extremely obvious for the ones who play poorly. Jerks may also cause other people to make those same mistakes, increasing our expectation.

We should study the jerks, especially when we are not in a hand. Their words and gestures contain a great deal of information, and it is often easy to "crack the code." We may see that this one throws his chips in forcefully when he is bluffing, but bets carefully when he has the nuts - or, that he uses one phrase when he is drawing, another when he has a made hand. Because other players are also emotional, they will also give away more information than usual.

Warning: Many Jerks are Quite Perceptive About Emotions

Although jerks are often poor at reading cards, some of them are quite good at picking up and taking advantage of emotional signals. They sense, for example, when we're angry, upset, and in danger of going on tilt, and they know just how to "push our buttons." We therefore must control our own reactions very tightly. Otherwise, we'll give them ammunition to use against us.

Should You Push Them Over the Edge?

One of the most satisfying punishments is to put them on tilt. You can get all the pleasure of seeing their pain, plus take lots of their chips - and it isn't hard to do. Many jerks are cowardly bullies; they attack weakness, but whine and complain if someone retaliates. So, hit them back in whatever way hurts them most, but only if doing so increases your expectation.

If a jerk is impatient, take your sweet time to act. If he can't handle being bluffed, and you see the right opportunity, bluff him and show it.

Does this advice contradict earlier suggestions? In one respect, yes, but it is consistent with the central point: Your goal should be maximizing your EV, not punishing the jerk. The critical issue is knowing your own motives.

If you're just expressing your anger, you're probably making a mistake that will cost you chips. If you've made a reasoned judgment that taking plenty of time to act or bluffing will make him react stupidly, put him on tilt, and start throwing away chips, do it (and enjoy it). For a profit-oriented poker player, the critical issue is maximizing EV.

There is also a danger: You might chase him away. Your decision about putting him on tilt therefore depends on whether that risk is worth taking. In fact, these columns were originally stimulated by a poster on Two Plus Two's Poker Psychology Forum, who asked for ways to get even or chase away someone who "pushed his buttons." If you think that putting a jerk on tilt will benefit the game, do it. If you can tolerate his obnoxious actions because he is making the game "better," and you think that pushing him too far will chase him away, grit your teeth and quietly take his money.

Beware of the Other Players

Don't focus so intently on the jerk that you ignore the other players or assume they are playing their usual games. Otherwise, you may beat him, but lose lots of money to the others. They may be so eager to punish him that their games change. Some players will play poorly, but others will actually play better. They will become more focused and intent on playing their "A" game. Instead of a relaxed, friendly game, it will become war.

Some players will attack more aggressively; others will bluff more frequently; others will set traps to get revenge; and a few will become extremely tight. You must carefully study them, see exactly how their games have changed, and make appropriate adjustments.

However, as I noted earlier, many of them are going to make the same sort of mistakes as the jerk. They will make stupid plays for emotional reasons, give away lots of information, and fail to read you well. Jerks can put a whole table at or near tilt, creating very profitable opportunities.

If You Can't Stay Cool, Get Out

Although these games can be real moneymakers, you must monitor yourself closely. Constantly ask yourself, "Am I taking this action because it increases my EV, or because of my emotions?" If you find that you're acting emotionally, if the potential profit is not enough to balance the irritation, or, worse yet, if you're playing badly and are on tilt or in danger of going there, you must leave immediately.

A professional high-stakes player once told me that he was in a great game, but was off balance from a number of bad beats. When he made a serious and expensive mistake, he got up, cashed in his chips, went to his room, and changed his plane reservation to the next flight home. He recognized his own vulnerability and made the most rational choice.

Follow his example. Ignore your desire to get even (either financially or emotionally), and leave before you lose serious money. There will always be another game, and there is an endless supply of jerks. Tomorrow, when you feel and play better, you can get even or make some money.

If you would like to learn more about yourself and other players, you can order Dr. Schoonmaker's book, The Psychology of Poker. See the Two Plus Two ad on Page 115.