Nobody Understands Us

Many of us have tried to explain our game and our love for it to nonplayers, but we rarely succeed. They just don't understand us, and most of them don't even try. They cling to their negative stereotypes, no matter what we say or do. Some people assume we are pathological gamblers. Others have less extreme beliefs, but still think we are somehow depraved, immoral, or lacking character and discipline. Hardly any nonplayers think highly of us, even though there are millions of us. We all can't be degenerates, but that's the way too many people see us. Let's look at the reactions of three important groups.

Family and Friends

This issue comes up frequently on TwoPlusTwo.com's "Poker Psychology" forum. One young man wrote: "I have tried many times to explain to my parents that poker is a skill game … but they won't budge. Any advice?" Another posted: "I … have a spouse who detests gambling in general. I have tried to explain to her that poker is less of a gambling game than slots and table games, which I generally avoid, but to no avail … I should also say that I am a consistent winner."

You may have tried to explain that poker is a game of skill, requiring extreme discipline and sophisticated analysis, but nobody listened. Some people close to you see poker as gambling, no more, no less.

Legislators, Police, and Judges

Countless authorities feel the same way. For decades, California prohibited all poker games except draw on the grounds that they were gambling rather than skill-based. It took a long, expensive campaign to convince the authorities that stud, hold'em, and Omaha required skill. Other states have convicted cardroom owners and professional players for violating their anti-gambling statutes. They see poker as no different from slots or craps.

Corporate Executives

We want corporations to sponsor tournaments, but they won't do it as long as executives look upon us so negatively. They will not risk "tarnishing" their corporate image through association with anything negative. For example, if a product endorser gets involved in a scandal, his endorsement income disappears.

Pool players once had equally negative images. Playing well was even called "a sign of a misspent youth." People respected good basketball, chess, or bridge players, but if you played pool well, you were automatically seen as a degenerate. Today you can play pool on a first date; it appears regularly on TV, and tournament prizes have grown spectacularly.

What Can We Do About It?

We have an unprecedented opportunity to change our image, and we should take full advantage of it. Television can do for us what it has already done for pool players, but only if we work hard and make some "sacrifices."

Poker is an American game, but the English led the way. By letting the television audience see the players' holecards, they made poker immeasurably more interesting. A weekly show was very successful, with more than 1.5 million viewers. Even without being able to see those holecards, many people watched the final tables at the World Series of Poker and PartyPoker Million. We now have our own technology for displaying holecards, and the Travel Channel is showing the World Poker Tour (WPT) for 13 weeks. After all those years, we're finally getting great exposure. We may never get another opportunity like this, and we can't afford to blow it. Here are just a few steps we should take.

Stop the mud-slinging: We must stop washing our dirty linen in public. Every time we attack each other, we give ammunition to our critics and reinforce the stereotypes. That point has been made repeatedly, but lots of people refuse to accept it. They are so angry, they just lash out, ignoring the impact on outsiders.

For example, if you go to RGP or some other websites, you will read vicious, totally unsupported libel. Some of the most respected players, writers, publishers, and cardroom managers have been accused of serious "crimes," usually without any evidence. These attacks may give a few people some temporary pleasure, but they hurt all of us. They certainly have turned off many people, including legislators, judges, and executives.

I must confess to getting involved in a "flame war." It wasn't that important an issue, and, of course, I believed I was right. So what? Hardly any outsider cares who is right or wrong. They just remember the nastiness. Fortunately, I learned from my mistake and will not repeat it. I hope you do the same. We can't sling mud without having some of it stick to us and our game.

Work directly on our image: Pool became respectable only because people worked very hard. The typical poolroom used to be dirty and dark, with spittoons on top of cracked linoleum. Women were not welcome, and most rooms were in bad neighborhoods. The players dressed as badly as we do now. A few decades ago, the rooms moved to better locations and put in carpeting, bright lights, and colorful tables. Tournaments started strict dress codes; either you dressed well or you didn't play. The traditionalists protested loudly, "You're ruining our game. Women don't belong in poolrooms, and real men don't wear tuxedos and play on orange tables!"

They were as wrong as the poker players who insist that nobody can tell them what to do, that poker is and should be exactly what it is today. If we want to become respectable - with the financial and other rewards - we have to do the same sorts of things. Cardroom owners have certainly done their bit; most rooms have gotten cleaner and more attractive, but players (including me) are still a scruffy lot. Worse yet, most tournament players dress no better than the rest of us. The WPT has put in a dress code for its final tables, but we need a similar code for all major events.

Enforce a strict behavior code: Most rooms have a code, but some don't enforce it. We all have seen players get away with actions you couldn't take in the town's worst dive. Some management says that the drunken, abusive idiot was losing lots of money, and the other players wanted him to stay. Alas, they are usually right. If a jerk has enough money, he can do almost anything. The short-term benefits of taking his money can blind us to the longer-term and much larger costs of damaging our image.

Teach people about the game: Tony Wuehle gives free lessons to his neighbors. He's an "ambassador," building goodwill for all of us. If you follow his lead and teach your neighbors, the people at your club, or anyone else, you become another ambassador. Everybody who understands and plays our game becomes one less "enemy."

Drop those names: You may not like name-dropping, but here, it's justified. If people knew of the distinguished people who love our game, they would realize we aren't degenerates. Three consecutive presidents, FDR, Truman, and Eisenhower, were enthusiastic players - so are Bill Gates, Carl Icahn, and Kirk Kerkorian, three of the world's wealthiest men, as well as Supreme Court justices Rehnquist and Scalia. And our game even has educational value. Peter Lynch, the legendary manager of the Magellan Fund, once said that one way to become a successful investor is to "learn how to play poker."

Welcome the newcomers: That behavior code is especially needed when newcomers are involved. We must make them feel welcome, but many regulars can't be bothered. When a novice sits down, they don't help him to learn and enjoy the game. They just take his money as quickly and ruthlessly as possible, often while criticizing and embarrassing him. They never consider the effects of driving away potential long-term "customers" and creating enemies. Most dealers and floorpeople protect new players, but a few favor the regulars, even when they are clearly shooting angles. I often wonder how many of our enemies were treated rudely or ripped off while playing.

You may think the word "enemy" is too strong, but it's not. Powerful people and organizations are crusading against the entire gaming industry. I am directly involved in one case, but can't report on it until the final decision is made.

Let's look at the long term: There are many other things to do, but we won't do them until we recognize that it's in everybody's interest to improve our image. I don't play well enough to get any of that corporate sponsorship money we hope to attract, but it will certainly make my life - and yours - more pleasant. If corporations sponsor more shows, countless people will think more highly of us. Television or anything else that helps people to understand and respect us and our game helps us all, both financially and psychologically.

A noted writer told me: "As much as I'd like to see more civil behavior on RGP and in cardrooms, without sponsorship and money as motivations, I think it is silly to assume that poker will simply … 'clean up its act,' all on its own, simply because it sees some greater good looming on the horizon." I'm afraid he's right.

Poker players talk a lot about the long term, but we can be extremely shortsighted. We can't wait for the corporations to act first because they simply will not do it. We have to make the first moves. The WPT has created a great opportunity; let's not blow it.

If you would like to learn more about yourself and other players, you can order Dr. Schoonmaker's book, The Psychology of Poker. See the Two Plus Two ad on Page 123.