Nobody Dies At The Poker Table Anymore

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The Seniors event is always good for a laugh and a good spot for a gamble. This year I got 33/1 about any player dying during the tournament. Considering it’s a three-day event that seems a decent price and my bookie offered money back if a dealer died which I thought was very fair indeed.

Looking around in the first few hours I saw several likely candidates who might have even been 33/1 all by themselves and was quite surprised when I didn’t win the lot on day one but that’s gambling for you. You can’t eat equity.

I was heartened when I finished the day sitting beside a lady who might have been in a position to influence things in my favour by murdering a punter or two.

After one of the players remarked that we’d been playing for twelve hours, which was very helpful to those who had forgotten how to calculate the number of hours between noon and midnight, she said she’d had a marriage that lasted less time than that. As she’d been talking java-script I felt it only fair to say I didn’t blame him only to learn that he’d dropped dead into his oatmeal one morning. Her current husband won’t eat her oatmeal under any circumstances.

Day two was a little disappointing as I busted out with 220 players left and all of them looked pretty healthy to me. I did however get to meet a guy who told me that the cops had recently busted his game. One of the players had lost all the money he’d had in his pocket and was about to leave when the food arrived. He decided to have a sandwich to salvage something from the wreckage.

While he was eating it the cops arrived. The good news is he got to finish his sandwich. The bad news is the cops found fifty thousand hidden in his car and confiscated it.

And players are complaining about the $2.50 bananas in the poker kitchen!