Leprechauns And Fairy Tales, A True Story

I don’t know where leprechaun stories started, but after a week at the hilarious Dusk Till Dawn Partypoker sponsored GPPT Ireland event in Killarney, I’d bet the farm it was in The Kingdom (otherwise known as County Kerry) and if you’d been there so would you.

The latest classic to come from that part of the world comes from Player A, a Kerryman who was in court in County Cork. A Cork man in court in County Cork is in deep deep shit. A Kerry man is drawing stone stone dead. The death penalty for double parking would not be as big a long shot as you’d think. Anyway, Player A’s problem was he had been caught on camera talking on his phone whilst driving. The normal penalty for this crime is a €80 fine and 3 penalty points on your driving licence. If not paid by a certain date (as was the case with Player A), the result is a day in court probably resulting in the fine becoming €300 and 5 penalty points.

When Player A’s turn came and the judge asked him how he intended to plea he said guilty and not guilty. When asked to elaborate, he said he was guilty of the offence but not guilty of not paying the fine as the court summons was the first he’d heard of this affair. The judge looked like he’d heard all this before, but he certainly wasn’t prepared for what came next. Player A explained that he lived outside Killarney half a mile from another gentleman who was also rather inconveniently called Player A so their postal addresses were exactly the same. To deal with this problem our Player A decided to call his house Swallows Nest and the other lad settled on Salmon Leap. Despite this clever move, the postman continued with a random system of mail distribution. Old habits die hard in Kerry. In evidence, Player A produced a letter addressed to Player A Salmon Leap which he claimed had been recently delivered to his home in error. In a theatrical scene, Perry Mason would have been jealous of he opened the envelope and whipped out a marketing brochure from Specsavers and went on to say Specsavers might be doing a better job if they sent this stuff to the postman rather than Player A Salmon Leap whose eyesight was excellent.

When the judge had stopped laughing he said he would dismiss the case if Player A agreed to put €100 in the court poor box. This judgement of Solomon was considered agreeable to all parties and Player A handed €100 to the clerk of the court. He wasn’t finished yet as when he was walking past the judge he couldn’t help saying “Can you make sure that lad sends the receipt to the right address? We are having terrible trouble with the post down our way!”

Next up for Partypoker in that part of the world is the Macau Club, Cork, Christmas Festival December 8-11. To join in the craic on the cheap, you can win a seat for the main event on Partpoker who are running satellites on Sunday and Thursday evenings at 8. To get the full story on Player A, you can talk to card club manager Connie O’Sullivan but make sure first that it’s Connie O’Sullivan Swallows Nest that you’re talking to.