Never Trust a Lawyer or a Woman

Dan Quale was always good for a laugh. “I have made good judgements in the past. I have made good judgements in the future,” is one of my favourites. He did get it right when he said that one lawyer for every 250 Americans was a bit over the top. It’s a couple of years since the lawyers won the main event here but they are back in action in the side show this year. When you look at the walls in the Amazon room in the Rio, the winners of the main event look right back at you. Not all of them though. Bill Smith is missing. Allegedly the lawyers looking after the 1985 champion’s estate don’t want his picture there. Not for free anyway. It is said that Mr Smith was drunk when he won his title. He must have been pissed out of his fucking mind when he picked his lawyers.

I so far achieved a perfect 0 for 5 in the tournaments here but lasted long enough today to witness the bracelet ceremony. I never thought I’d feel sorry for a winner before. The guy with the mic said that the magic of the WSOP was that anybody could play and anybody could win and that this guy was proof of that. It was embarrassing and an insult to the winner and everybody he’d beaten. I hope they embarrass me some day but I don’t think I’d take it with the class this guy did.

I was playing in a pretty boring cash game in the Rio the other day. The table talk was less than exciting until a guy said that we’d never guess what happened to him the previous night. I’d just gone through the blinds or else I’d have been out of there because this I didn’t want to hear. I’m glad I stayed. He said he was having a few drinks at the bar and the lady beside him engaged him in conversation. She said she was 67-years-old and hadn’t had sex since she lost her husband six years ago, and asked him if he was interested. He said she didn’t look too bad for her age but he politely declined her kind offer saying that he was a little tired and maybe some other time. As he got up to leave she asked if he’d be interested in a mother and daughter thing. He forgot he was tired and said he’d be quite happy to give it a go. They went to her room, she opened the door and shouted, “Mom, I’ve got one!”