DOYLISM OF THE DAY: "No one ever saw a cowboy on the psychiatrist's couch."

DOYLISM OF THE DAY: "No one ever saw a cowboy on the psychiatrist's couch."

Yesterday was a big day for me. After sitting at my desk for three months, everything happened at the same time. I had three important meetings; the Extreme Poker Show at the Venetian sent a group in to discuss tactics as did High Stakes Entertainment - the golf tournament guys. The third meeting was maybe the most important…my bookie who owed me money from basketball. That would have been a full day but they came on a day I had two doctor appointments. I had these doctor appointments scheduled for weeks and couldn't cancel so I tried to make all five meetings.

My first appointment was with my dermatologist. I had a bump on my head that I couldn't get rid of. Actually it was more like a large pimple and after my experience with melanoma cancer 46 years ago I was more than a little concerned. The doctor looked at it and announced it was a type of cancer that needed to come out. Just what I needed at 9:00 in the morning. Usually at 9 a.m. I roll over for another hour of sleep! The good news was that it was a squamous cancer that didn't spread easily but it could bore straight down. That was cool; it could penetrate my skull and eat up what few brain cells I have left. The doctor said he would have to make a large and deep incision to be sure he got it all and it would leave a bad scar. I've got enough scars on my face and head that it looks like I went through a Viking war. So I told him to be sure and do the operation up right because I was pretty sure Cameron and Drew wouldn't want me to do any more love scenes in the movies with them. So now I'm walking around looking like I've been in a fight at the Hogs and Heifers Bar.

After a thirty minute wait, they said no problem, they got it all. After I went home and changed my shorts I felt fine.

I ran to the meetings with Extreme Poker and High Stakes Entertainment before my three o'clock appointment with my cardiologist. I had taken a bunch of tests at my last visit and she had the results. After chewing me out for gaining ten pounds she said I was in pretty good shape for someone my age. My cholesterol was 179 which is really good but my bad cholesterol - whatever that is - was high. So her advice was to cut down on red meat, don't eat cheese and to exercise a lot. Yeah, right. I did notice she didn't tell me to have more sex or do any fun stuff. But, I guess I'll try to do what she said.

There is an island in the Pacific called Brunson Island. That is where all the bookmakers go after they have me for a customer for a while. They retire and live like kings on my money. This time I had a lot of money coming and my bookie didn't have it.

No wonder I had to take 2 ½ Vicodin to go to sleep. What a day! - DB