What's The Best Attitude, Take 2

As I said in “What’s the best attitude,” I was not sure that I understood Texann’s question. Her comments clearly indicate that I misunderstood her.

She wrote: “I’m sorry I didn’t express my question very well. I was not asking about the correct attitude to improve luck. I completely agree with you and understand that thinking positively will not improve your cards. My question was not about luck. That being said, I’m not really sure how to express my question any clearer. Maybe this will help… Imagine that my question was from a person that runs track, and the person is asking you what attitude he should have before running a race. The rest of my question would still apply. If that person went into a race thinking positive, but despite his best efforts, he still lost, the disappointment would be much greater than if he had gone into the race neither thinking positively nor negatively. In other words, the let down would be much less if he didn’t go into the race thinking he was going to win. But on the other hand, perhaps he won’t win if he doesn’t think he will. So which attitude would be better for him to have – a positive attitude or a neutral attitude?
“Does that clear my question up at all?”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Her comments certainly clarified her question, and I’ll try again to answer it.

Before doing so, I must say how pleased I am that other people have commented on this and other blogs. The more comments you make, the more all of us – including me – will learn. So please take a minute to tell us what you think.

Now I’ll take a second shot at her question.

I haven’t got William James’ exact words, but do have the idea. He was America’s first major psychologist, and he wrote that our satisfaction was a fraction, A/E, achievements divided by expectations. We can become more satisfied by either reducing our expectations or increasing our achievements.

Therefore, there is not one “best attitude.” It depends upon your motives (and other factors).

If you play primarily for fun and are willing to sacrifice profits for pleasure, you’re better off not expecting too much. Since luck and other factors will cause your results to vary widely, high expectations guarantee that you will often be disappointed.

If you play primarily to make money and are willing to sacrifice pleasure for profit, then high expectations are desirable. You’ll often be frustrated, but you will probably make more money. Your frustration will probably make you work harder on your game, both at and away from the tables.

However, I said “probably make more money” because frustration can have a negative effect. If you become too frustrated, you may go on tilt and blow your bankroll. It’s happened thousands of times. You may also get depressed and just give up on poker.

I’m applying a principle that was thoroughly discussed in my most recent poker book, Poker Winners Are Different. In “Winners Make Good Trade-offs,” I wrote that, poker players “try to get everything – profits, fun, relaxation, challenges, status, fame, and so on – because they deny the reality that winning poker demands painful trade-offs.

“The actions which satisfy some motives will frustrate others. If you don’t understand, accept, and work within the limitations created by this reality, you will make some very bad decisions. Good trade-offs sacrifice lower priority motives to satisfy higher priority ones. To make them you must:
• Know what you want
• Analyze the costs and benefits of each alternative
• Select the alternative that offer the best cost/benefit ratio”

David Sklansky and I included a similar principle in our book, DUCY?.” In “Some Bad Bets Are OK” we said that it’s OK to make negative EV decisions if the pleasure you get is more valuable than the money you sacrifice.

So the best attitude for you is not the best one for me. In addition, the value of high expectations varies by your situation and mood. If you’ve had a stressful week and just want to relax, don’t expect too much at the tables. If you’re a pro or a wannabe, you should usually set demanding goals, keep detailed records, criticize your play, and work with a poker buddy or coach to improve your play. You won’t enjoy poker as much, but that’s part of the price of becoming a successful pro.

But don’t set them too high or you’ll be miserable, and your misery can harm your results. Push yourself to improve, but at a realistic rate. That point brings us to another principle of Poker Winners Are Different.

In “Winners Are Brutally Realistic” I wrote: “If you deny reality too often, you will certainly lose. Winners think realistically because:
• They want to maximize their edge.
• They want to know the truth.
• They aren’t afraid of the truth.
These motives help them to overcome most – but certainly not all – the powerful psychological, cultural, and social forces that make all of us deny some realities. Nobody is always realistic. Everybody clings to some delusions, but winners have the motivation and discipline to accept most realities, even when they are painful.”

Texann probably wanted a simpler answer, but poker and psychology are almost never simple. That’s why so many people get frustrated by the standard answer to most questions, “It depends…”

So Texann and you should ask yourselves:
1. How well do my expectations fit my motives?
2. How well do I handle frustration?
3. What level of expectations will create the optimal mix of enjoyment and frustration?