Hats Off to Harrah's

What an incredible World Series of Poker we just had: huge numbers, phenomenal prize pools, and, last but not least, a stamping down on bad behaviour.



Congratulations to Harrah's for its zero-tolerance policy toward the "F" word. As a novice, I remember being totally intimidated by the bad language in some cardrooms. I'd go as far as to suggest that Harrah's was a bit too lenient. All casinos should designate a corner of the cardroom as a sin bin to which all naughty players should be banished, preferably wearing a dunce's cap with an "F" emblazoned on it. Alternatively, they could be made to do a lap of the cardroom carrying placards proclaiming their misuse of the English language.



It was very gratifying to see that the famous player who thought it was safe to swear during a break did not escape retribution, nor did the player who accidentally let slip the dreaded word whilst explaining the rule to someone else.



The question remains, though, whether a player could still be thoroughly obnoxious to the dealer, and to everyone else at the table, as long as he did it without swearing. I think casinos should tackle this by appointing guardians of public morality to ensure that inappropriate behaviour anywhere near the poker table is taboo. This is especially important now that there is such extensive coverage of poker on TV. We don't want to come across as uncouth morons to the viewers at home.



Harrah's and ESPN are also to be congratulated for making poker players sit properly at the table when they are all in and the cameras are on them. All of this standing up and wandering around is just childish behaviour, presumably designed to get maximum TV exposure. High-fives and unceremonious jumping up and down should also be discouraged. It's not only bad-mannered, it's highly insensitive. For every player doing a victory dance, another has just seen his dreams shattered, so let's play it cool, whatever the situation, and at least pretend to be adults.



If it were up to me, I would also ban sunglasses. First of all, they make us look like we belong to the Mob, and secondly, it makes for great TV if the viewer can see the fear in a player's eyes. Whilst we're on the subject, let's adopt a smarter appearance, too: no more tatty T-shirts that have forgotten what an iron looks like, please.



Another great move by Harrah's was the $3.50 charge for a bottle of water. My first reaction was that it was excessive, but on reflection, I've decided that it was pure genius. Obviously, the organizers didn't want a load of kibitzers cluttering up the cardroom, impeding the television crews and being generally unproductive. Also, the first priority of the waitresses has to be to those players still in the tournaments, and thus confined to their seats. With the huge number of entrants, these poor waitresses must have been worn to a frazzle just trying to look after them, so noncombatants had to fend for themselves or pay a premium. When you're still in a tournament, the last thing you need is people distracting you with their tales of woe, so any ploy that will deter these individuals from hanging around is OK with me. Clear the decks, I say.



Equally annoying are family and friends hovering around their loved ones, eager to supply them with food, drink, and moral support. If these people left after their errands of mercy, all would be well, but invariably they linger, so I was quite pleased to see a wife being reprimanded for overstepping the mark. Apparently, her dearly beloved was thirsty and was not prepared to wait for a waitress, so off she went to find a bottle of water in the off-limits press room. However, just as she presented it to her husband, an observant official snatched the bottle of water back and restored it to its rightful place. Now, I know that she was only trying to be helpful and prevent her husband from collapsing from dehydration, but when there are thousands of players, you just can't have spouses running around helping themselves to whatever they can lay their hands on, doing the waitresses and runners out of a job. It would be total pandemonium.



All in all, when you consider the multitudes that descended on the Rio, Harrah's did a great job. These huge numbers were a bolt out of the blue, as was evident by the shortage of restroom facilities. Once again, management rose to the challenge when they handed the ladies restroom over to the men. Everyone involved should be congratulated for being innovative in their approach, and for laying on such a great sporting spectacle.

Lucy "Golden Ovaries" Rokach has long been one of the most successful tournament players in Europe, with 14 major tournament titles to her name in the last five years alone. She hails from the Midlands in the UK, but can usually be found on the European tournament trail.