China

I just got back from my first trip to China, for the Asian Poker Tour (APT). The tournament was held in Macau, but we stopped off in Hong Kong for a few days to do a little sightseeing. What did we see? Not a whole heck of a lot.

I was traveling with two godfathers - my dad, the "Godfather of Poker," and Jack Binion, the godfather of the world's greatest poker player (me, had I been Catholic). They are two of my favorite people, but when it comes to traveling, I think Al Gore and Jerry Falwell might have been more fun.

Our trip began with arrival in Hong Kong. Our gracious host Tom Hall had us picked up at the airport, then offered to take us to dinner after we got settled in. Jack and my father both backed out and stayed in their rooms all night. That was no big deal yet, as I understand they're both older and had jet lag, but this was just the beginning.

My phone rang the next morning and woke me up. It was my dad telling me I needed to get up so that we could go sightseeing. I didn't get to sleep until 4 a.m. and didn't sleep on the plane, so I was dead tired, but agreed to get up. To my horror, the clock read 7:30 a.m. I mean, why did we need to get up that freakin' early to look at a bunch of high-rises?

Not wanting to be a wet rag, I got up, and we went to breakfast. A car arrived to drive us around, and when we got to our first stop (either a museum or a boat dock for a cruise, as we disagreed which was first), my dad looked at the stairs and moaned, "I can't go up there! Take me back to my room!" I immediately noticed an elevator and pointed this out to him, but he still said, "No, you guys go ahead. I'm too tired."

Excuse me. I'm the one who slept only three hours in two days, but still got up at this ungodly hour! I was thinking of a nice way to say this when Jack chimed in that he didn't want to go, either.

We went back to the hotel and slept all day and night. The next day, we left the hotel only to go out to eat at a Chinese restaurant, which was terrible. Our host said that he wanted to take us to an American-type Chinese restaurant, so as not to upset us. I would have much preferred upset to flat-out bored.

The next day, they again didn't want to leave their rooms, so I wandered off to walk the streets alone until our ferry took us to Macau. I'm really glad that I wasted three days of my life in Hong Kong.

Once we got to Macau, things were a little better, but only because I had a few friends there. The only time I traveled outside of the casino with the action twins was when we went to dinner at the Wynn. Of course, we went straight back to the hotel afterward.

We had a few meals in what would pass for a coffee shop. It was probably the best food we had while over there, at least in my opinion. This brings me to my next story.

Anyone who knows my father and I knows that we both accuse the other of always thinking he is right, regardless of the situation. Well, I'll let you be the judge here.

We were in the aforementioned restaurant. My father (who never eats Chinese food in the first place) ordered shrimp won tons. They brought him the won tons in chicken broth, which is exactly how I knew they would. He knew I liked this place, so he went on a long rampage about how they didn't know how to properly serve Chinese food (he wanted them fried).

Now, think about this. He was saying that these Chinese people, in a Chinese restaurant in China, didn't know how to properly prepare Chinese food! I started to ask if he thought he was right about that, or if the 1.3 billion people whose food it actually was were. I dropped it, knowing what his answer was going to be. (By the way, if you like poker and like to travel, see my "Wanted" ad at the end of my column.)

Neither of us did any good in the tournament. Seated at my table were a Filipino guy, four Americans, and three Scandinavians. I flew all the way around the world for this? And guess who the tournament director was. That's right - Matt Savage. He screwed me one more time on the "random" draw. I think someday, I'm gonna "randomly" punch some tournament director in the face for some "random" reason!

There was a televised cash game a few days later, and we had been promised that it was going to be good - full of Chinese guys who couldn't spell hold'em. I've traveled the world looking for these games, and have yet to find one. This game had no Chinese players in it at all.

Here was the lineup: John Juanda, J.C. Tran, Nam Le, Quinn Do, some young Internet pro, and the only two who could be considered amateurs, Chris Parker and Waki Yamazaki (who played about three hands all night). I'm not sure I've ever seen a final table this tough before, and I flew to China to play in this game!

Chris was the only big loser, and the only big winner? Mr. Luck Box himself, John Juanda. There were only four real big pots all night, and he won them all. In the biggest pot, one guy flopped aces up, another a set, and Juanda an open-end straight draw. He didn't make the straight like a normal human would have, however; he backdoored a flush! I guess he built up good karma by selling all those Bibles door-to-door.

The good news was that I managed to win almost a hundred thousand dollars myself! The bad news was, it was Hong Kong dollars, a little over $13,000, but what the heck, I'll take it. The decent pot I won could have been a monster, but my opponent misplayed his hand.

I held pocket ducks on the button in a family pot. The flop came A-7-2 with two spades. Everyone checked to me, and I bet the pot. Chris just called with a flush draw that he completed on the turn. Then, he tried to get sneaky and go for the check-raise. Well, unfortunately, I didn't fall for it, and checked behind him. Why unfortunately? Because the river brought an ace, pairing the board and giving me a full house.

He then made a small bet, and I raised about half of the pot. He smooth-called, and I won about half of what I should have if he hadn't tried to be cute. I guess sometimes bad play can work in someone's favor.

Wanted Traveling Companion(s)

Must be:

• Under 70 years of age
• Able to walk up and down stairs
• Able to eat foods other than pizza or hamburgers
• Able to drink more than three beers without falling down (falling down is acceptable, but it must be as a result of no fewer than 12 beers or shots)
• Able to stay up past midnight
• Able to sleep until at least noon
• Able to stand loud music
• Less grumpy than I am (believe me, this isn't too hard)
• Able to speak multiple languages
• A multimillionaire

Send all applications to www.myspace.com/toddbrunson.

Come to think of it, my other two frequent traveling companions Hoyt Corkins and Chau Giang meet only the under 70 requirement (OK, maybe the last two, also, if you call hillbilly its own language). Yeeee haaaa, y'all!