Heisenberg ’Em!

Werner Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle in quantum mechanics notes that in trying to study an atomic particle, the measurement of position necessarily disturbs a particle’s momentum. In other words, according to Heisenberg (and he should know, since he had the principle named after him), you can’t observe a thing without affecting it.

How does this affect us in poker? To a great degree. When you enter a poker game, it’s as if you’re sitting down with a bunch of other particles. Left to their own devices, these particles — players — will behave as they behave. But who says that you have to leave them to their own devices? If you Heisenberg ’em — intentionally set out to disturb their momentum — you can affect them in ways that aren’t necessarily good for them, but are really quite great for you.

Take the example of the only woman sitting at a table full of men. The mere fact that she’s a woman will cause at least some of the men to make assumptions about her game. They’ll take her to be weak, tight, and straightforward, for no other reason than she’s a woman. This is ridiculous on its face, of course, yet it happens every day. Just her gender will have a Heisenberg impact on the other players. Some will underestimate her. Others will want to impress her, or bully her (or date her). Let’s neither condemn nor condone this behavior, but just recognize it for the exploitable weakness it is. Anytime players view others through a lens of distorted reality, that’s a mistake — a mistake that can be used against them.

Hello! Here comes Samantha “Sam” Pellegrino, a woman who has been playing Internet poker nonstop for the last three years. She’s gained a ton of experience, won a ton of money, and is now in transition to real-world cardroom play. That she happens to be young and attractive is the specific tool of Heisenberg that she uses to take the boys off their bucks, for she knows that — boys being boys — they will judge (and therefore misjudge) her by her appearance. As a first approximation, they will think she’s an airhead or a fish. While nothing could be further from the truth, this is an image that Sam is happy to cultivate. If she really wants to Heisenberg it up, she can launch a line of chat that suggests real cluelessness about poker. If such overt lying doesn’t suit her, she can just sit back and let her silence be taken for ignorance. Since her foes assume her to be unsophisticated and straightforward, they will tend to give her credit for every hand she bets. Her mere presence in the game, in other words, causes the Heisenberg effect of having them take her bets at face value. It’s a license to bluff; in other words, it’s a license to steal.

Unfortunately, it works the other way, as well. Your opponents will play against you according to how they perceive you, and this can give you problems. If, for example, they see you as a soft target, they will attempt to push you around. This transcends gender, of course: Good players routinely probe for weakness wherever they suspect it, and ruthlessly exploit it wherever they find it. Should you happen to be a tight player, a new player, or someone playing higher than your gulp limit (the level where you feel comfortable with the bet sizes), you’ll have a great deal of difficulty in gaining traction against such players. It’s no fault of your own — as they’re just playing against you according to the Heisenberg projection they perceive.

It’s your task, then, to see yourself as your opponents see you, and adjust accordingly. If they see you as someone they can run over, you’ll either have to play back at them to prove them wrong or — if you can’t stomach such aggressiveness — go find a different game. If they see you as wild and unpredictable (a good image to have), do everything you can to reinforce that image with your talk and table manner, while at the same time tightening up your starting requirements. They’ll be amazed at how someone as loose as you (appear to be) always seems to have the goods. If they see you as knowledgeable and strong, you get to push them around, and that’s always a good thing. So, make sure that you always monitor the picture that others have of you. It won’t always be accurate — in fact, it shouldn’t be accurate — but it will always be something you can use to your advantage.

Your other task is to see your foes as they really are. Just because someone comes off all cowboy, it doesn’t mean he’s a real cowboy; he could be a dime-store cowboy. Likewise, someone who seems like a maniac may be a fake maniac, a fakiac, in disguise. Filter all of the information you receive through the following question: “What does my enemy want me to do with this?” Then, go ahead and do the opposite. You won’t go too far wrong.

It is said of image play that the most persuasively sold image is one that tracks close to your true self. If you’re playful by nature (like I am), you’ll have more luck selling a playful image than, say, a bully or a bastard one. That said, for maximum Heisenberging, you want to learn to play against your image, as well. If you’re not used to doing this — if it’s your practice to just play your game without much thought to your image — it is something you’ll have to work on to become good.

So, here’s what you do: The next time you go to play, simply set yourself the goal of projecting an extremely uncharacteristic (for you) image. If you’re generally passive, try to be active; if you’re usually quiet, try to be loud.

If you’re never, ever a bully — try to be one. Success with this strategy creates a certain disconnect, an inner conflict, in your opponents’ minds. They don’t know whether to believe your image or your actions, and they end up confused. They start trying to hit a target that isn’t even there. Then, when they least expect it, suddenly change your image to something else. You’ll be surprised at how much easier the game gets once you’ve trained your opponents to play according to the (false) picture they have of you. As a secondary benefit, the more attention you pay to the manipulation of your own image, the easier it becomes to see through the deceptive images that others seek to project.

Then you’ve really got ’em Heisenberged!

John Vorhaus is the author of the Killer Poker book series and the poker novel Under the Gun. He resides in cyberspace at radarenterprizes.com. Photo: Gerard Brewer.