Six Miles From Nowhere

I was talking to Colette Doherty in the Fitz the other day about Killarney. Colette, twice a winner of the Irish Open and the first lady to play the WSOP main event, is, quite simply, a legend. But that’s not why I like her. I like her because she makes me laugh. She was telling us about a week she and some friends spent in Kerry years ago. Sightseeing and shopping wouldn’t be too high up on Colette’s love to do list but her friends must have been quite persuasive as one day they were all in a car with some local lad driving and acting as a guide. They saw a signpost that indicated they were six miles from some place they were headed for. A couple of miles later, they saw another signpost saying they were still six miles from their destination. When they drew this to the attention of their guide he just said “I know. But at least we’re not losing any ground”. That’s Kerry for you!

When I visited the Conference Centre in Killarney with the Dusk Till Dawn lads, they fell in love with the place and decided to hold GPPT IRELAND and a WPT event in conjunction with Party Poker there in September. Furthermore, they decided to guarantee €250,000 prizepool for €115. I was about to tell them they were out of their fucking minds when I remembered that’s what I thought when they came up with the idea of opening DTD in Nottingham. Nottingham ffs! For once, I kept my mouth shut. See you in Killarney!

When I told Pat Vickers about the event, he launched into a story about his last poker visit to Killarney. He was staying in a Bed and Breakfast for €45 per night. I pity the poor woman that agreed this rate with him but can fully understand why she made this horrific mistake. To look at him, this guy looks like he’d struggle with a bowl of Weetabix but I can assure you he’d be more than capable of eating his own body weight in the sausages and black pudding department and still be asking if there was any more toast. Pat checked in and was about to embark on the twenty minute walk to the poker venue. The lady of the house offered him a lift but he told her the walk would do him good. When she asked him what time he’d be finished he told her it would be 2 or 3 a.m. She told him to phone and let her know when he was finished so that she could come and collect him. I’m not sure if this offer was extended the following evening after he had presumably eaten her out of house and home but I’m guessing no. Even in Killarney hospitality has some limits!