Winning Superstitions - Huh?

Hi. Come on in. My refrigerator is empty, so let's just sit quietly while we explore a dark corner of your poker mind.

Question: What is a syllogism? Answer: Who cares? Better answer: A syllogism is an argument with two premises and a conclusion. Today I will use this device of logic to prove a conclusion at which I have already arrived. Don't be concerned about how to pronounce it. You'll more than likely never encounter the word again in your entire lifetime.

Both premises in today's syllogism are categorical propositions containing just three distinct terms between them. (I hope all of this has something to do with poker.) An example of a categorical syllogism would be: "All gamblers are superstitious." That's the major premise. "All poker players are gamblers." That's the minor premise. "Therefore, all poker players are superstitious." That's the conclusion.

The only problem I see with this syllogism is that it's a false syllogism. It's totally logical, yet it is based on the false premise that all gamblers are superstitious.

I happen to know for a rock-hard fact that all gamblers aren't superstitious. Some brilliant scientific guesswork yields a figure more like 87.4 percent. The other 12.6 percent aren't superstitious, because they think it will make them unlucky. (These people would never consider asking a rabbit if they could borrow one of its feet.)

At times, superstition is so prevalent that it seems to be written into the rules of the game. It's a rare poker player who doesn't have at least one "luck" quirk. I myself, a man of logic and intellect, insist that any coins on the table in front of me be heads up, in a neat row, with the heads squared toward me. I have no idea why. But some players do know why they have their quirks.

I know one poker player who always wears a cap while playing. If the cards aren't running well for him, he turns the cap around like a baseball catcher. This supposedly makes it easier for him to "catch" some better cards.

An Omaha-playing acquaintance of mine explained how he makes use of black magic and voodoo. He was quite serious. I don't believe in all of that occult stuff. This is the age of enlightenment and scientific exploration. This is 2002, not the Dark Ages. Black magic and voodoo are only deeper aspects of superstition. (Of course, I didn't tell him that – he might put a curse on me.)

You probably have known players who otherwise appear to be sensible, practical people who leave the table when their "unlucky" dealer comes to the game. Nonsense.

Just because this dealer started you off with three kings on four different occasions in a stud game and snapped you off for your entire stack each time by filling your opponent's gutshot straight, that is no reason to avoid him like the plague. A simple full-page ad in several major newspapers denouncing him as the most vile form of life ever to walk the planet will do sufficiently.

More scientific guesswork reveals the fact that a luck quirk with some players (probably because it works the best) is to walk around their chairs clockwise or counterclockwise, depending on who is doing the walking. As I understand it, this circular walking action (in either direction) redistributes the cosmic flow, which in turn influences the distribution of the cards.

What most players fail to understand is that first you must be cosmically attuned and centered within your own being – and, second, it helps tremendously if you study and improve your poker skill to the highest possible level. It's amazing how that will improve your luck.

Some players will sit only in certain seats at the poker table, such as the No. 1 seat or the No. 8 seat. This is, of course, nonsense. Anyone with any understanding of the "seat-choice concept" knows that the lucky seats are No. 2 and No. 7.

Good luck – er … superstition.

Before I can food shop, I'll need a nap. Kill the light on your way out.

Editor's note: Roy West, author of the best-seller 7 Card Stud, the Complete Course in Winning (available from Card Player), continues to give his successful poker lessons in Las Vegas to both tourists and locals. Ladies are welcome. Get his toll-free 800 number from his ad on Page 104.