Paddy's Corner

Recurring Errors

Most players make mistakes – lots of them. Trust me, I should know. The worst part is, they keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again.



The biggest mistake is the one most will never admit to – playing poker at all. Another error that really intrigues me is when a player assumes his opponents see him as he sees himself. We're all only human. Well, we're better than that, really, because we're humans who play poker. Firstly, a guy is likely to rate himself a little higher than his opponents rate him; this is a good trait in man. If you don't ignore most of the clangers you drop, how can you expect anybody else to? And if you really dwelt on all the tilty moves you made, it would put you right off your game! It's much better to ignore them completely and have a snigger when all the other muppets make a complete dog's dinner of things!



Secondly, and far more importantly, it's very easy to assume the other guy is actually watching what's going on. If you're to be completely honest, you're probably not paying too much attention yourself, because as you rate yourself a much better player than the clowns you're playing with, you don't really have to. Your edge is already absolutely huge. The reality of the situation is that your opponent is far more likely to be tracking the cocktail waitresses, especially when they are bending over, keeping an eye on the guy at the next table who owes him money, keeping an eye on the guy two tables away who's winning big and is a likely sponsor of his rent for the next months (or last months), or just wondering if the cocktail waitress really meant it when she wished him good luck. It did sound kind of special. You should bear all of this in mind when you're about to bore some guy who hasn't managed to avoid you and is too polite to run away with a story that begins, "I hadn't played a hand for an hour …"



A classic case of this gap in your reality and someone else's perception of reality occurred just before Christmas in Las Vegas. I hadn't had a drink for months, but as Christmas was approaching, I decided to close down my gambling empire for the year. I felt I had already lost enough. I ran into everyone's pal (everyone's drinking pal, anyway) John Scof Sheffield in the Palms, where a heavily outnumbered "rest of the world" team under the leadership of gentleman Tony G. was inflicting an embarrassing defeat on the Americans. This was most unfair, as everybody knows the Americans are the best in the world. The statistics are there for all to see. After all, they've won four out of the last seven world championships, while providing only 92.4 percent of the entrants – an incredible record. Anyway, Scof and I decided to go to the bar and wet the old whistle, and there we were joined by John Duthie. Why John wanted to involve himself in this company, where the conversation was liable to slowly degenerate into absolute rubbish, is a complete mystery to me. John hasn't had a drink in 20 years, but the last time he did was a memorable one; perhaps memorable is a bad choice of word here! He went out for a drink one day in London and is a little hazy as to exactly what happened over the next day or two … but nobody is perfect. He woke up a couple of days later in a park he didn't really recognize, but there seemed to be quite a few German tourists around – lots of them, actually. There were many reasons for lots of German tourists being around; in this case it was because the park was in Dusseldorf! Upon inspecting his pockets, Duthie discovered that he had neither a passport nor money. The lack of a passport was obviously a problem, though not a surprise, as he hadn't had one when he started out in London. Exactly how he ended up in Dusseldorf will have to remain one of the great mysteries of all time. John also found it a little unsettling when he discovered himself getting extra large hellos from all of the street people nearby, who somehow or other knew him by name. He managed to make it back to civilization (well, England, anyway) and hasn't had a drink since. Many people admire him for this. I'm one of them. Although, I suppose I'd be more impressed if he'd finished up in Dublin or Barcelona. I'm sure the very thought of waking up again in Dusseldorf would keep anybody off the sauce!



Obviously, John would expect most people to know that while he's a good man to buy a drink, he doesn't consume them himself. Anyway, one thing led to another that day, and a good time was had by all. Imagine John's surprise when on his return to London he was browsing through Daniel's blog and found a sentence that began something like, "After I was knocked out of the tournament at the Palms, I ran into Irish legend Padraig Parkinson (OK, he didn't exactly say Irish legend, but I'm sure he meant to), Scof, and John Duthie at the bar – where else?" Duthie phoned me to ask if he had to stay away from the gargle for another 20 years before people get the idea!



An Irish Guarantee
Rory Liffey invited himself to stay with us for a night on his way to Deauville. He had to invite himself because I certainly wasn't going to. To be fair, he's the perfect guest: He doesn't bring anything, and just sits there and eats and drinks everything put in front of him. Nor does he bother with leaving those embarrassing little presents other guests present you with when they're leaving, just to make you feel bad about not pandering to their every whim. While he was here, he received a text from Liam Flood. Rory doesn't have a lot of friends, so any text or phone call is a joyous event. He gleaned two pieces of information from this text: The first is that the PaddyPower-sponsored Irish Open at Easter will have a guaranteed prize fund of €1 million; the second is that Flood can't spell guarantee. Only one of these pieces of information came as a surprise. It's especially good news for European players, as it will save many of them the $25,000 they were going to murder in the Bellagio tournament. It will also save some of them having to play against those who insist on murdering the $25,000 anyway! It's a win-win situation. And the extra good news is that €50,000 is being added to the event by the sponsor, PaddyPower.com. That's what I call progress. I'm not sure what the tea and coffee situation is in Jury's hotel, and can't find anything in the brochure in this regard. My advice is to avoid disappointment by bringing a flask. If you don't have a flask, just stick to the beer, or charge your tea or coffee to Flood's room.