Tikay's Table Tales

So, the wily veteran Mickey Wernick was the European Player of the Year in 2005, based on the rankings. He's a truly worthy winner, too, if you ask me. This man knows all the angles, all the moves, and can dance with the best of them when he feels it's needed. But he's in the "fancy for show, solid for dough" school, and his biggest asset is patience. Mickey has a little mantra that he asks himself before every hand: "Is there a better situation?"



So, is he the best player in Europe? Maybe, maybe not, but one thing I do know is that it's not the rankings that would make this the case. Great Britain is the only country in Europe with a fully developed poker circuit, so that's where the majority of the ranking events are held. That's great if you live in Britain, and can take part in 90 percent of the events, but what if you live in Sweden, Russia, or France? If you are lucky, there may be a handful of ranking events in your homeland, but that's about as good as it gets.



It's only a matter of time before some sharp entrepreneur comes along with a truly representative European ranking system. I'm not knocking the existing one; it has added a whole load of spice to the poker calendar, and long may it last. But we do need to be fair to those who do not live in Great Britain.



The Whizz-bang-bish-bosh Brigade – where are you?

So, let's take a look at the rankings' top 10. Where are all the young hotties, all the whizz-bang-bish-bosh boys? They're nowhere to be seen. But Wernick, Nash, Woodley, Colclough, Hollink, and Falconer – hardly wet behind the ears, more like old-stagers to my mind – are. One up to the wrinklies! Only Julian Thew, The Camel, and Mr. Binelli fit the "new poker" category, and even they are all on the wrong side of 40. New poker? Forget it. Old poker rules, OK?



Poker and TV, top of the cycle?

Poker, like life, goes in cycles. A few years ago, if we wanted to watch poker on TV in the UK, it was Late Night Poker or Late Night Poker. Now, there are a dozen poker shows on TV every night. Sadly, that's not necessarily a good thing. William Hill did a great job with their Grand Prix, and added loads of money, so credit where credit's due there. However, many of the new poker TV shows just don't make the mark. To TV execs, the game is sexy right now, and they want a piece of the action. But if they want it to continue, they need to do certain things, such as upping the quality of production and adding some money. Oddly, Late Night Poker is still the best poker show ever made, but maybe that's partly because of its ground-breaking performance, waking up whole armies of armchair punters to the beauty of our game. I've heard scores of reasons why they do not make Late Night Poker anymore, but I've yet to hear one that makes an iota of sense. I guess it's a case of the British disease that demands that if something's successful, it'll be killed.



Best Venue?

I was fortunate enough to visit the Helsinki's Grand Casino in November. "Grand" sums it up – what a wonderful venue! It got me thinking about the best venues I have visited in my poker travels. Casinos on my short list would be Helsinki, Baden, Moscow's Shangri-La, the Concorde in Vienna (for the atmosphere), The Broadway in Birmingham, Deauville, and the Casino de Monte Carlo. The worst? It has to be the Rio. Sorry!



Best Location?

As for the locations themselves, Monte Carlo is just awesome; there's so much history, and the action is all confined to a very small area. Deauville scores highly again, and St. Petersburg must be the most interesting city in the world, but my vote goes to Luton (Cough!). The worst location? Vegas wins unchallenged again. Talk about tacky-town! I await a letter from the United States Visa Department …



Poker Fashions

Fashion is a weird thing. It affects poker as much as anything else, but I'm not talking clothes here. Two years ago, half the players started sucking lollipops – lollipops! – and I thought, what next? Well, that would be shades – sunglasses, if you wish – worn upside down. Marcel started it, and the world and his wife copied it for six months. Now we have an outbreak of BOB (baseball caps on backward) every few months. Next up is the hoodies, real tough. A grown man with a lollipop in his mouth, shades on upside down, hoodie on, and BOB – just how cool does this guy think he looks? OK, maybe I'm a grumpy old man. I'll get my coat …

Tony "Tikay" Kendall is the presenter of Poker 425, and a partner in www.blondepoker.com.