Expensive Phone Calls
All the information you can now gather from books and from the Internet means that you can get 20 years of poker experience in about six months if you're keen. A lot of the "20-year" men can be heard moaning and groaning and crying into their pints that it just isn't fair. They shouldn't worry too much. Observing what's going on around you and making judgements about what's going on in people's heads isn't something you can do a crash course in and is still what makes the difference.
It should be quite simple, but it's not. Poker can often be boring, and it's way more fun to read the paper, do the crossword, check out the waitresses, watch football on the telly, or keep an eye on what's happening in the big game in the corner than to study everything that's done and said at your table. The good news is that when you make a mistake because you haven't been paying close enough attention, you often won't even know what happened, so you can blame bad luck or, better still, the dealer.
Sometimes, it can be a little more spectacular than that. A few years ago, in the Aviation Club in Paris, practically all the games were dealer's choice. This involved picking the button on which was written your game of choice and placing it on top of all the other buttons when it was your turn to choose. It sounds simple, but poker being poker, strange things can happen.
Some sick individual had apparently made a habit of stealing the nullo (seven-card stud low) buttons. I don't know why, but there are a lot of sick people around! It seems to have been a successful operation, because one day when a player wanted to choose nullo on his button, there wasn't a nullo button on that table or on any other table. The dealer showed great initiative and announced that they'd use the seven-card stud high button for this game but that everyone should be aware that the game was indeed low only. Being an efficient chap, he repeated himself a couple of times so that everybody at the table was aware of what was going on - everybody, that is, except for the guy who was on the phone at the time and didn't want to be interrupted. The French rules regarding mobile phones are a lot more liberal than elsewhere, but Paris is Paris and you just go with the flow. If you don't like it, it's just too bad.
Anyway, the dealer dealt the cards and one or two players were quite happy because they had low cards, and the guy on the phone was absolutely delighted because he had pocket kings and started betting accordingly. He may have been wondering what was going on when, after five cards had been dealt, the guy with the 7-3-2 was still calling him quite happily. He needn't have worried, because his sixth card was another king, and he joyously got the last of his €600 into the middle. He proudly turned over his three kings on the river and was quite shocked when the dealer awarded the pot to his opponent, who had a 7 low. He wasn't very pleased. In fact, he was livid, and started to shout at the poor dealer. The other players defended the dealer and told him it was his own fault for not paying attention. I don't think he got the point.
Stranger Than Strange
Sometimes all the best stuff doesn't take place at the table. For sure, this was the case in Luton recently. Player A, an English man who behaves as though he's Irish, got a result in the main event. He went straight to the bar and met player B, an Irish man who behaves as though he's English. The conversation went as follows:
Player A: Here's that 300 quid I owe you.
Player B: You don't owe me 300, you owe me only 200.
Player A: That's good news; here's that 200 I owe you.
Player B: Thanks very much. Is there any chance you could lend me 100?
Simon Poker Day
The second charity tournament for the homeless will take place in the RDS in Dublin at 2 p.m. on Nov. 3, thanks to the
European Poker Tour's John Duthie and Charles Harbourne of the Jackpot Club. It should be great fun, with many top pros and celebrities involved. It's a great opportunity to play against top players for only €330, and even less if you qualify online (PokerStars, Green Joker Poker, PaddyPowerPoker, and 888 will be running satellites).
Padraig Parkinson is well-known on the European poker scene, both for his poker prowess and sense of humour. He was one bluff away from winning the 1999 World Series of Poker, but unfortunately got called.
