I’m Digging Confucius

This guy Confucius was pretty smart. Although he lived more than 2,000 years ago, a lot of what he had to say has a lot to say about poker, and we’ll get to that in a second. First, though, how’s this for a random piece of information? According to Wikipedia, “As a child, Confucius was said to have enjoyed putting ritual vases on the sacrifice table.” I’m sorry, but I have to ask: How do you know?! We’re talking 2,000 years ago! I mean, that would be like someone 2,000 years from now saying, “As a poker player, John Vorhaus was said to have enjoyed three-betting with 8-7 suited.” Yes, it’s true, but I doubt that it’ll stand the test of time.

But much of what Confucius said (or, in fairness, is said to have said) has stood the test of time. And much of it resonates pretty harmonically with a sensible approach to poker. Let’s check it out.

Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes. Good poker players know that all poker players make mistakes. The way to deal with them is not to dwell upon them — but not to let go too lightly, either. After all, if there’s a mistake, there’s also a correction, one that must be investigated, selected, and applied. Confucius reminds us to let our reaction to errors be not emotional, but analytical, and therefore useful.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. This aphorism speaks to emotion, too. It warns us that negative motivations, such as revenge, are essentially self-destructive. We’ve all been there, of course, facing some real harasshole who has that special knack for getting under our skin. But the minute we turn our sensible, dispassionate poker game into something out of Kill Bill, we’re just cutting off our nose to spite our face.

Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it. A lot of people play poker poorly. Then again, some people only seem to be playing poorly, and are playing correctly according to just some hidden strategy. So, when you see someone seemingly stinking up the joint, remember that it’s not your job to assign a value judgment to his play. It’s your job to beat him. So, first figure out whether he’s really bad or just apparently bad. If the latter, adjust accordingly. If the former, don’t tap on the glass. Let him think he’s beautiful. There’s surely no harm in that.

It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. Impatient to move up? So impatient that you’ll imperil your bankroll? Confucius would tell you to take a chill pill, or Confucian words to that effect. Life is long, and as long as you’re seeing an upward trend in your learning curve, you can afford to take your time. Let’s face it, poker is hard, and it gets harder the higher you play. Some people advance more quickly than others, but none of us can arrive anywhere before we get there. To jump philosophers for a second, John Fortescue said, “Comparisons are odious.” Your path is your path, not mine or anyone else’s. If you’re satisfied with your progress, that’s enough.

Respect yourself and others will respect you. When I play poker — especially online — people often think I’m silly, daft, or stupid. I admit that my approach to the game is unconventional (it’s based largely on appearing silly, daft, or stupid), but it never bothers me when someone calls me an idiot. (And they do!) I have my game plan, and it works for me. Therefore, I respect myself. To tell the truth, I’m not sure that Confucius is right about this one, though, because my foes still largely disrespect my play. They sure give me their money, though.

Study the past if you would define the future. With so much useful information about poker so readily available through books, magazines, and Internet forums and coaching sites, it’s amazing that some people don’t study at all. Do they imagine that they’ve somehow solved the game? Even if this were true (and it’s not), they’ve solved only its current iteration, for poker continues to evolve, and good players are committed to evolving with it. If you would define your poker future as a profitable one, you really have to study the game — hard.

To see what is right and not to do it is want of courage. How many times have you seen (or been) someone who says, “I knew I had you beat,” as he folds? Poker, as we know, is a game of imperfect information. If you’re waiting to know, with 100 percent certainty, that your read is right, you’re going to be waiting a long time. Examine the situation with a clear head, weigh all factors, reach a conclusion, and then act. Your great reads do you no good if you can’t follow through.

When anger rises, think of the consequences. This may be the best defense against tilt that I’ve ever heard. When things go wrong — and they go wrong for everyone — take a moment to consider your next course of action. It’s altogether too easy to make a bad situation worse by carrying anger, resentment, or regret into your future poker play. Would you like to lose all of your money or your tournament life? If not, you must make a different choice. Let go of your anger, for the sake of your subsequent play.

I am not one who was born in the possession of knowledge; I am one who is fond of antiquity, and earnest in seeking it there. I’m just wondering, what was antiquity from Confucius’ point of view? This quote seems to suggest that Confucius drew on sources of wisdom much older than his own. Therefore, this column borrows ideas not 2,000 years old, but maybe 4,000 years old, or older.
To this unknown ur-Confucius, I can only say, thank you. By filtering your wisdom through Confucius and thence to modern times, you’ve made the world — or at least this tiny part of it — a better place.

I’ve had fun interpreting Confucian thought in poker terms, but let’s face it, this only scratches the surface. What can you learn from the great thinkers of this world? They don’t have to be poker thinkers, you know: Truth is truth, no matter how it’s applied. And maybe think up a few ideas of your own, because no one, not Confucius and certainly not me, will ever speak to you as articulately and thoughtfully as you will speak to yourself.

John Vorhaus is the author of the Killer Poker book series and the new poker novel Under the Gun, in bookstores now. He resides in cyberspace at vorza.com, and blogs the world from somnifer.typepad.com. John Vorhaus’ photo: Gerard Brewer.