Mind Over Poker: Mutual Influence

Poker is a game of mutual influence. What do I mean by that? Let’s take a look at another arena of mutual influence — negotiations. In negotiations, each party is trying to get the best deal that he can. For most negotiations, that means better than the midpoint. Presumably, parties don’t enter into negotiations unless each one wants something out of it. There is a range at which a deal will get struck.
For example, let’s say that you are in the market for a new car. You have done your research and think $25,500 is a fair price. However, you would like to get the car for $24,500, but are willing to pay up to $26,000. The dealer is willing to sell at $25,000, but wants to get $26,500. Assuming that each party negotiates in good faith, there is a range of $25,000 (the dealer’s lowest selling price) to $26,000 (the highest amount that you are willing to pay) at which a deal will get done. The midpoint is $25,500. Anything lower than that amount should be considered a victory for you. However, you won’t know that, since the dealer won’t reveal how low he is willing to go. If he did, you would hold out for $25,000.
So, how do you maximize your potential for getting that lowest possible price? By probing and finding weaknesses. Ask questions and be willing to walk away. There is a lot of back and forth, and reading of body language and other tells. Of course, the dealer will be doing the same thing. You each will be trying to influence the other that your position is firm without blowing the deal. While trying to mutually influence each other, there is still common ground where you both will be happy if a deal is struck. So, in that regard, an extreme offer is likely to be rejected out of hand. If the dealer insists on not accepting a penny under $27,500, you are likely to reject that out of hand and walk away. A deal won’t happen, and the dealer loses out on a sale that he could have had. In all likelihood, that won’t happen. When there is a common ground, the parties will invariably come to an agreement. It’s just a matter of who gets the better part of the midpoint.
Poker is a game of mutual influence where there is no common ground or midpoint. This is important to remember, because in most aspects of our lives, we are trying to compromise and find win-win situations. It’s often hard to change gears when we enter the poker room. We are used to extreme offers being rejected out of hand. In poker, we want to make those difficult offers. A big bet or raise can’t be rejected out of hand. If your opponent walks away from the hand (that is, folds), he loses — and you win. Of course, your opponent will be trying to manipulate you, as well. Influence is a powerful force. Mutual influence is a tricky, nuanced powerful force. Mutual influence where there is no common ground is a treacherous powerful force that requires a different mindset than we typically employ. The next time that you walk into a poker room, keep that in mind. ♠

David Apostolico is the author of several poker-strategy books, including Tournament Poker and The Art of War, and Compete, Play, Win: Finding Your Best Competitive Self. You can contact him at [email protected].