The Rules Guy: How To Conduct Yourself at the Poker Table

Most players learn poker’s explicit rules pretty quickly: the “one-chip rule,” for example, or “verbal declarations are binding.” But not everyone seems to have digested the game’s vast book of unwritten rules, admonitions like “don’t berate other players (particularly bad ones)” or “say ‘nice hand’ even when you mean something entirely different.”

Enter “The Rules Guy.” TRG believes that civility and sportsmanship are never wrong, and that bad behavior (even when you’re simply trying to get an edge) is bad for the game. Have you got a question about how to conduct yourself at the poker table? Email TRG at [email protected].

Dear The Rules Guy:

My card room in California is the ultimate melting pot — I don’t even recognize some of the languages I hear at the tables, much less understand them. But I know this: English only! So what should I do when there are three players talking in something other than English during the hand? They could be talking about the World Cup or what they had for dinner, but I worry that they are talking about the hand.

— Xenophile (Not Xenophobe)

Dear Xenophile,

The Rules Guy also considers himself “a word guy,” but had to look up xenophile, which as your signature suggests, is the complete opposite of a xenophobe. A xenophobe dislikes different cultures, nationalities, religions, or customs, while a xenophile is attracted to them.

People like to say America is the great melting pot, and they are right. People also like to say poker is the quintessential American game, and they are right too. It’s American in its dynamic and in its mentality.

But poker, of course, transcends America. As the most casual glance at poker media will tell you, superb players come from all the English-speaking countries but also from throughout Europe, from all over Latin America, and from Asia. And, as you and every other player here in America knows, poker attracts people of all nationalities, cultures, and ethnicities here at home. California may be the epitome of poker’s American diversity, but it is by no means unique, as the Charles Murray article cited above describes more eloquently than TRG can.

A poker table is often a Tower of Babel in terms of languages, but the rules are crystal clear (or as clear as poker rules can be):

“In order to guarantee the integrity of the game, and as a safeguard to all players, only English should be spoken while a hand is in play.” (TRG’s local card room)
“Speaking a foreign language during a hand of poker is not allowed, unless expressly permitted.” (The Rules of Poker, Lou Krieger and Sheree Bykofsky)

“The English-only rule will be enforced in the United States during the play of hands. At non-U.S. venues, the house will clearly post and announce acceptable language(s).” (Tournament Directors Association)

Is this insistence on English an example of American exceptionalism and imperialism at work? Is it yet another example of the cultural hegemony of the United States?
Of course not.

English is simply the lingua franca for this increasingly global game, just as English has become the standard language for global finance and diplomacy. There’s enough chaos on the felt already — from smartphones to smart alecks — that the need for a single language for the mechanics of play and to ensure the fairness of the game seems unassailable.

Unlike finance and diplomacy, a poker player’s command of English need not be extensive. In fact, TRG believes a non-English speaker can master the argot of poker in an orbit or two: Bet. Call. Raise. All-in. Fold. Rebuy. You don’t even need to use words to signal your intentions (but however you communicate, make your intentions clear!).

But what a player should not do is use words that are not understandable to every player at the table — even if the words are irrelevant to the hand or the game itself.

Let’s use your example, Xenophile. You suspect your opponents could be talking about their hands, their intentions, their plans to collude against you, or what you may be holding — any of which clearly violates the cardinal poker rule: “One player per hand.”
Of course, they could have been talking about the World Cup, or dinner, or the pretty woman playing pai gow. In fact, it’s likely their table talk was innocuous. But the mere fact that you’re suspicious is reason enough for them to talk in English or shut the hell up.

You are trying to ensure your game is safe and sound; they (and by “they,” TRG means every player) should try to ensure that everyone feels the game is safe and sound. “English only.”

Note that this is particularly true during the play of the hand. Once the pot has been pushed, a few Sixth Street comments in another language are probably fine — but players who speak in anything other than English should be cognizant that they might be suspected of colluding.

Of course, if they continue to chat, you, Xenophile, are in a bit of bind. You can ask the dealer to remind players that “English only” is the rule of the house. You can ask the floor person to remind players of the “English only” rule. You might even say, in a friendly way, something like “I am sure you guys aren’t talking about the hand, but please remember the ‘English only’ rule.” Or you can change tables, which sends a message itself, particularly if you reinforce it: “Guys, I’m sorry, but I’m changing tables because I can’t tell if you’re talking about the hand or not.”

Admittedly, that’s both harsh and a bit in-your face — not that easy to say. But if the stakes are big and your suspicions are aroused, it might be the better course of valor.
However, there is one non-English expression that is perfectly fine to use at anytime during the hand, though you’ll most often hear it when the cards are tabled: Aiya!

That is the only Cantonese expression The Rules Guy knows, but it is so familiar — and so utterly fabulous — that it seems entirely apt to this discussion. TRG will save you the trouble of looking it up: Aiya! means “Oh my God!” Or “My word!” Or “Oy vey!” Or “OMFG.” Or “How on earth could you have called my three-bet on the turn with that raggedy ace and no draw, you scoundrel!?!”

And, occasionally, Aiya! denotes a begrudging “Nice hand, sir!” — a sentiment that is always welcome at the table. ♠