Author's note: With apologies to Herbert O. Yardley, I am stealing the title of his important book for the name of my column. I dare him to stop me. He's dead, by the way.

I started playing poker seriously in August 2000. Although I played in a couple of the smaller buy-in events at the Taj Mahal in December of that year, I didn't seriously pursue becoming a tournament player until January 2001 at the World Poker Challenge in Reno, Nevada. I knew practically nothing about tournament poker, but I felt drawn to the game.

When I was 9 or 10, my father noticed my nascent interest in poker. He bought me a copy of Amarillo Slim's book, Play Winning Poker. I had started playing penny ante with my friends and I was hooked. At about that same time, I got a copy of Scarne on Cards, and began booking some of the exotic carnival-style games he described against my friends. I was laying 5-1 on 8-1 shots on some kind of horse race game played with cards that I can barely remember now. I played a lot of wild-card poker in college - you know, baseball, pass the trash, anaconda, and so on. I lost every night - I repeat, every night. I realize now that I was half of a successful poker player - I was aggressive. I was not, repeat, not selective.

Somehow, someway, 15 years after college, I find myself in the late stages of the $300 seven-card stud event at the World Poker Challenge in Reno. Sitting to my immediate right, T.J. Cloutier. Sitting to my immediate left, "Miami" John Cernuto, and to his left, An Tran. Oh, my God. What do I do now? I've never, ever, in my life, until this day, played seven-card stud in a casino. In fact, I don't recall if I've ever played straight seven-card stud, sans wild cards, in my life, before this day. Gulp. My stack is getting smallish, although it's not desperation time. I decide to run my biggest bluff of the day. My target is only the greatest poker player alive, T.J. These chips matter at this stage. I call T.J.'s raise of the bring-in; I have an ace up and a couple of big cards down. In other words, it's a hand I have no business playing. I catch a king on fourth street. As always, I can't remember what T.J. had, which goes a long way toward explaining why I may never become a world-class player. T.J. bets, and I raise, with nothing but a couple of scare cards up. T.J. thinks and thinks. Here's the dialogue inside my head: Please, God, let him fold. Come on, big guy, you're good enough to lay down the best hand. You can't bluff a bad player, and since you're the best, this bluff has to work. Doesn't it? Please. Oh, God.

Finally, he mucks. T.J. and Miami John go back to discussing the merits of triple-draw lowball, a game that I've never even heard of. Later that night, I make my first final table ever, scheduled for 4 p.m. the next day.

The next morning, D-Day, I'm going out of my mind with nerves. I remember reading in Card Player that most players make zero final tables in an average year. I don't know if that's true or not, but I'm thrilled to the point of distraction. I've gotta do something to take my mind off the seven hours I have to get through until the final table starts. I've got it, I'll take a drive. I'll zip over to Tahoe and gonk around a bit. OK, good. About 30 minutes later, driving on the highway, I realize that I've gone the wrong way, east, and that the terrain is getting rugged and it's beginning to snow. Gulp. What if I get stuck here and miss the final table and my date with destiny? Better turn around. OK, stay calm.

Back at the Reno Hilton, it's now a few minutes of noon. I've got a great idea. I'll buy in to the $300 no-limit hold'em event just to take my mind off the impending doom of 4 p.m. After a couple of hours, I've actually built up a nice-sized stack. Then, an interesting hand comes up. I limp in with A 10 on the button. I think we were still playing $50-$100 blinds. I've got about $2,000 in front of me. Two players have limped in front of me, and Melissa Hayden limps from the small blind. The flop comes perfect, K Q J. I've got the nut straight and a four-flush. Melissa goes all in for about $1,800 immediately, and the next guy goes all in for just about the size of my stack. The third guy thinks and thinks, and finally mucks (we later find out that he had two pair, kings and queens). I, of course, call. I've got the other two covered. Since two of the three players are all in, the hands are turned up. Missy's got A 10. She sees my hand and simply says, "Oh, no." The other guy's got a set of kings. He fills up on the turn, with the J. I don't even realize it immediately, but another player says, "He's (meaning me) got a royal flush." And, indeed, I do. So, I triple through.

An hour or so later, still among the chip leaders in the no-limit hold'em event, I leave my massive stack and go off to play the final table of the seven-card stud event. I play the stud final table for about two and a half hours. I'm amazed to watch Ray Di Donato get the forced bring-in on about 65 percent of the hands while I'm still there. Randy Holland, Rick Ortiz, and Pat Fleming all go out before I do. I finally succumb to Stevie Del Borrell in fourth place when my flush draw, straight draw, and pair of fours fail to improve, and Stevie holds a pair of tens. Stevie yells out, "Ship it" as he rakes in the last of my chips. I fight the urge to strangle him as I skulk away. Later, he becomes one of my best friends in poker. He goes on to win the event, with An Tran finishing second, and big Ray third. They later tell me that they made a deal as soon as I busted out. Oh well. I get paid $3,090, my first score in tournament poker.

I immediately return to the no-limit hold'em event, where I've been blinded off for more than two and a half hours. My $6,000 is now down to $2,500 or so. In my second hand back, I look down and find two beautiful black aces. I always bet on black. My all-in bet is called and I double through immediately. The rest of the event, which for me lasted about four hours, is a blur. I end up at the same table with the incredibly aggressive Hassan Habib. I decide to reraise him a couple of times, and to my amazement, it works. Even though my stack is about $8,000 and his is about $40,000, I get him to lay down a couple of times.

I finally get moved and raise all in with pocket nines. I get called by A-K offsuit and a king comes on the river. I finish tied for 15th out of 393 players, and get paid another $1,000. So, that's how I finished in the money in two events in the same day at my first tournament. Man, this is easy - or so I thought. Later on, in Tunica and at the World Series, I would learn otherwise.