Hi. Come on in. Let's go out on the back lawn and watch for shooting stars while we speak of the great game of poker.

Here's another of those "Hmmmmmmmm" items. If you were put on trial, accused of being a good poker player, would there be enough evidence to convict you? Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Think about it. No, no - I mean, really think about it, now. Then we'll continue.

OK, let's talk about rules. They limit us; they cramp our style; they box us in. Most of us don't like rules, but living in an organized society requires them. If nothing else, rules keep us from each other's throats. What would driving be like if there were no traffic lights? Chaos (and a lot of mangled throats).

Rules are "good" or "bad," depending on the rule, the situation, and the person. I count among the "good" those rules by which I guide my poker play. They are known affectionately as "Roy's Rules." For those who came in late, or need a reminder, among all of Roy's Rules, only one has a number: Roy's Rule No. 1, "Play happy or don't play." All others are in second place.

One of those second-place rules states, "Decisions at the poker table are based on gathered information." Quite often, one of my seven-card stud students will ask a question such as, "How should I play three fives?" That's like calling your doctor on the phone and saying, "I'm running a fever. What should I do?" He needs a lot more information before he makes a decision. You and I also need information at the poker table in order to make profitable decisions.

Without information, you aren't making decisions - you're guessing. Don't make guesses, make decisions - decisions based on information, which you obtain by constant observation. Gather information about the play of your opponents.

Change of subject: Several times in the past few years I have wished I didn't live in Las Vegas, so I could come here to visit. It's such an exciting city, but when you're here every day, it becomes old hat and ho-hum. Now and then I have to stop and take a look with fresh eyes. Then, I'm once again able to see the excitement.

Beyond the glitter of the Strip, we have the desert, the lakes, and the mountains. Where else could you snow ski in the morning and water ski in the afternoon? And, of course, there's the poker - all the poker you'd want, all day, every day.

To a boy from Cloquet, Minnesota, it's a dazzling eye-opener - Las Vegas. It came as quite a jolt to discover that there are more people employed at the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino than there are living in my hometown. (Ah, Las Vegas - if it just wasn't so hot during the summer.)

Change of subject: Here's a somewhat interesting thought: You can get the average American male to admit that he's not an expert in almost any subject - almost. We will admit to being bad golfers. I golf and bowl about the same score. It's easy for us to say we know nothing about nuclear physics. All I know is that if you're nearby when the big bang comes, it will do you almost no good to plug your ears. Removing a gall bladder would be a total mystery to most of us, and we would not mind in the least acknowledging that.

While we readily admit our shortage of knowledge in most subjects, there are three outstanding exceptions: Which of us men would ever admit to being a bad driver? Nary a one. Who amongst us would confess to being a lousy lover? Not the slightest chance. And if you live to be 171 years old, you will never hear an American male admit to being a bad poker player - no matter how awful he actually may be.

If a man's math is slow and his watch is fast, he'll say so. When a man is a bad singer, he knows it. But at poker, a man could be the world's worst and never even realize it, much less admit it if he did realize it.

As for me, I'm convinced I could easily win a half-million dollars a year if I could only catch better cards and other people's bad play didn't mess me up.

I liked that last shooting star we saw. It was like an angel striking a match across a cathedral ceiling. I'm going to grab a nap on the sofa. Kill the light on your way out.

Editor's note: Roy West, author of the best seller 7 Card Stud, the Complete Course in Winning (available from Card Player), continues to give his successful poker lessons in Las Vegas to both tourists and locals. Ladies are welcome. Get his toll-free 800 number from his ad.