The Changing Face of Poker

It has occurred to me after having watched sports for years that team uniforms have changed dramatically. To see this contrast in living color (and sometimes in black and white), I tune in to the ESPN Classic Network. Wow, what uniforms – bright colors in some, classic pinstripes in others. Then, the Montreal Expos came along with a hat that looked like a roll of Lifesavers. I guess they got the idea from the old ABA (American Basketball Association). Looking at the shorts in the old basketball tapes, I see that they were no longer than midthigh; now, they are as low as your knee, and some players now wear undershirts, which was unheard of in the past.

The pant legs in baseball were always a different length based on the height of the stirrups of the baseball socks. And oh those colors – remember the San Diego Padres hats with that yellow color?

Hockey jerseys were my favorites, especially when they were pulled up over someone's head during a fight. I could never understand the New York Rangers jersey. I was born in New York and never saw a range. I always saw the H/C on the Montreal Canadians jersey, only to understand later that it stood for Hommes of Canada, or Men of Canada. Even these hockey jerseys have changed over time, like the L.A. Kings crown-faced yellow jersey, which is now black and no longer has a crown.

Even the physical appearance of basketball players has changed. First, they had short haircuts, then crew cuts, then Afros, then they were bald, and now they're back to short haircuts. So, how does this relate to poker and my job of getting you past the intimidation stage and into the casino? In order for you to play the part of the non-newbie and to feel right at home, you have to fit in.

Let's start at the top. I've seen hats worn in casinos for many years. It seems as though cowboy hats were the standard, dating back to the beginning of poker. Remember all those dusty towns with wooden sidewalks and dimly lit saloons in the movies? Well, cowboy hats haven't exactly left us. In fact, these days you don't have to be a cowboy or even a Texan to wear one. But these days the cowboy hat isn't the standard. If you want to be in vogue, wear a baseball cap. These caps are rampant in our industry. I see them everywhere I go, and most of them have logos. There are logos from professional sports teams to professional wrestling. There are symbols from astrological signs to the ever-popular Yin-Yang. (Hats that bring luck?) Well, casinos themselves must think people are on to something, because they have gotten into the act. Try buying in to a tournament these days without getting a logo hat from that casino. Walk into the tournament area and you'll see a sea of similar hats. It seems as though the players are prepared for this. The only ones who seem to be newbies are the ones who came in wearing hats in the first place. Some of these players end up putting their new logo hat on over the one they were wearing. Does a "double hat" put you more in vogue? Does it make you look like a newbie? Did you not prepare as you should have, or maybe you just have a thinning hairline and a cap is your normal attire for any occasion. In either case, it seems like baseball caps are part of the poker outfit. Look for them in the photos of tournament winners in Card Player. I'm sure you'll see the trend.

Now let's move on to my favorite accoutrement, sunglasses. Sunglasses inside a casino? Yes, they have become a favorite accessory of poker players. Remember when you were a kid and you told a lie? Your mother always said, "You're lying, I can see it in your eyes." Well, poker playing involves lying (bluffing) – so, out come the sunglasses. No, not just any sunglasses, but designer sunglasses, and the darker the better. Better yet, mirrored sunglasses are "the nuts." No longer are sunglasses propped up on top of a player's head. The players of today carry them in designer cases, and polish them with the softest of chammies that keep the lenses dust-free. They wear all styles: aviator, rimmed, wraparound, and mirrored. The lenses are small, large, oversized, and undersized. Some have prescription lenses and some are knock-offs bought at the flea market. I wear glasses that are reading glasses with blue lenses. People think I'm one of the in crowd, but in reality, when I say I want to see the flop, I literally mean that I want to see the flop. Don't let the photos of the tournament winners in this magazine fool you. They all wear sunglasses and sneakily remove them for the photos. They don't want to let a winning secret out, but I'm here to open your (sunglass-covered) eyes to a winning profile.

Let's move on to the next important poker accessory, headphones. Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we wear hats, that are covering sunglasses, that are covering headphone wires. We've come a long way in this area, as well. First, there were the bulky Koss headphones that were used with Sony Walkman cassette players. Now, there are small over-the-top headphones and tiny in-the-ear headphones. There are the new headphones that slink around behind the head. They are connected to CD players and CD players with radios. Some are so large that you need to carry a pouch with that day's special selection of music. And there are those that are so small that you could put them in your shirt pocket. The most advanced players use the new MP3 player. It's a small unit with a small pouch and small discs. I often wonder if the better players are listening at all, or are just bluffing us that they're listening. And there are others who you know are listening because the music is so loud that you can sing along.

You know, having watched sports for years, I remember wondering just how much money a franchise makes selling souvenirs. Obviously, it's a lot. When you come to the casino, remember to suit up with all the things that will make you look like a great player. As for me, well, I'll be the one with the concession stand selling caps, sunglasses, headphones, and music.

Come and join us.