My Dream Nontournament Poker Game

Although this is my dream poker game, all of the players who are in the lineup are well-known poker players or high-stakes gamblers. In seat No. 1 we have the colorful "tell it like it is" Charles Barkley. Barkley used to play $20-$40 limit hold'em with some of the players I know in Maryland when he played for the Philadelphia 76ers way back when. Jerry Buss told me that Charles, Michael Jordan (MJ), Magic Johnson, and Scotty Pippen played a very high-stakes fourhanded no-limit poker game when they were all on the "Dream Team" years ago. A little birdie told me that Magic was the big winner in the game and that MJ was the big loser. In addition to being very rich, Charles will also keep everyone at the table entertained with his outspoken personality.

MJ is at the very top of my list of players whom I would love to have play poker with me (next to Bill Clinton). I love his hypercompetitive attitude and his indomitable will to win. MJ reportedly plays in a regular no-limit poker game in Chicago with a group of commodities traders a good friend of mine knows. When asked by my friend if I could fly in and play in the game sometime, one of the group members responded, "No way can Phil play in this game, we guard MJ like he is a national treasure." OK, whatever … but I'm still not giving up hope that I can eventually play a little poker and golf with Mike. After all, I'm pretty hypercompetitive, as well.

Bill Gates reportedly dropped out of Harvard to pursue his love of poker in Arizona, and to start a little company on the side called Microsoft. I guess that the poker didn't work out so well, or did it? Maybe he made enough capital playing poker to start his company. Can you imagine parlaying a poker bankroll of $2,000 into $50 billion? I would love to talk to Gates sometime just to see how a master of the business world thinks. Does he really think he can do anything? Maybe I could glean something while I hang out with him. Perhaps I could incorporate some of his thought processes into my way of doing things.

Tiger Woods is another one who is cut from the same bolt as MJ. Although I can find no direct link to poker for Tiger, it is common knowledge that he bets thousands of dollars per hand when he plays blackjack in Vegas. Just hanging out with Tiger and MJ would probably help me become a better poker champion.

PGA Tour golfer Phil Mickleson would be another great addition to my private little game. He bets hundreds of thousands of dollars on sports teams futures; he bet the Arizona Diamondbacks and the New England Patriots to win it all last year (pretty good picks since they both paid big odds, and won). He also bets thousands of dollars per hand at the blackjack table, and is a known risk-taker, as well (just watch the way he plays golf). He probably would play too many hands in poker, and therefore would give great action to the game.

Would I want Chevy Chase or Johnny Carson as the next choice for my game? According to my very reliable sources, they both play in a big private game in Hollywood. I guess Chevy would be my choice, because I love his Saturday Night Live skits and his National Lampoon Vacation movie series. I'm sure that he would keep everyone in the game laughing.

Former President Clinton would be an awesome addition to the game. I would love to meet him, even though he dealt with a ton of adversity in the latter part of his presidency. With all of Clinton's people skills, I'm sure that he would find a way to win money playing poker with us. Anyone who can ascend to the presidency is a great poker player by definition!

Finally, we have a couple of Rounders, Matt Damon and Edward Norton. I guess they are both so busy making movies that they could share the last seat in my dream game. In 1998 in Vegas, I gave them both some lessons before they played in the World Series of Poker. They both managed to outlast me when I lost with set under set. Then, Edward lost with set under set, and finally, Matt lost with pocket kings to Doyle's pocket aces. Those were pretty respectable hands for all of us to lose our money with! Matt and Edward are writing blurbs and introductions for my first poker book with Harper Collins, Let's Play Poker, which is due out next April, so I will make sure that I give them both some more lessons before the dream game begins.

Some other potential players for my game would be any former president or United States senator, Barry Bonds, Larry Ellison, and a few NFL players. I think a nice $2,000-$4,000 limit hold'em game would be about right for this crew (it might be a little small for some of these guys, though). I hope you enjoyed this Hand of the Week. Good luck playing your hands this week.

Editor's note: Phil Hellmuth can often be found playing poker online or giving free seminars on how to play poker at www.ultimatebet.com. To read more Hand of the Week articles or to learn more about Phil, go to www.philhellmuth.com.