Tax Humor?

Most people see little humor in taxes; however, we found a collection of humorous anecdotes compiled and arranged by Jeffery L. Yablon of the organization Tax Analyst, which provides research and other services for tax professionals. We have reproduced the following for your enjoyment:

The term "tax humor" is no doubt an oxymoron to many people; to the more cynical, it is an apt description of the entire tax code.

- John F. Iekel

We have long had death and taxes as the two standards of inevitability. But there are those who believe that death is the preferable of the two. "At least," as one man said, "there's one advantage about death; it doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."

-Erwin N. Griswold

Another difference between death and taxes is that death is frequently painless.

- Anonymous

Taxes: Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get an automatic extension.

- Anonymous

The Internal Revenue Code is about 10 times the size of the Bible – and unlike the Bible, contains no good news.

- Don Rickles

A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing something right.

- Anonymous

The reward of energy, enterprise, and thrift – is taxes.

- William Feather

If you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead – if you strike oil.

- J. Paul Getty

The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.

- Anonymous

A fool and his money are soon parted. It takes creative tax laws for the rest.

- Bob Thaves

I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.

- Arthur Godfrey

The taxpayer – that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take a civil service examination.

- Ronald Reagan

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the Income Tax.

- Albert Einstein

Once – just once – I'd like to be fixed up with a guy who earns in a year what I pay in taxes.

- Anonymous Female Lawyer

The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes.

- Anonymous

People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women.

- Anonymous

Taxes grow without rain.

- Old Jewish Proverb

A lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math.

- Anonymous

I want to find out who this FICA guy is and how come he's taking so much of my money.

- Nick Kypreos

There are those who seem to have nothing else to do but to suggest modes of taxation to men in office.

- Robert Peel

The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.

- Barry M. Goldwater

It was as true … as taxes are. And nothing's truer than them.

- Charles Dickens

Man is not like other animals in the ways that are really significant: Animals have instincts, we have taxes.

- Erving Goffman

The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes – naturally, no one wants to live any other way.

- Judith Martin (writing as "Miss Manners")

Don't tax you. Don't tax me. Tax the companies across the sea.

- Dan Rostenkowski

Well, that's what we consider the best of the best, and we hope we provided a little levity in your life today. In our business, we rarely have a chance to make people laugh.

Editor's note: As enrolled agents, in addition to tax preparation, Yolanda Smulik-Roche and Roger C. Roche are licensed by the Treasury Department to represent and defend clients before the IRS nationwide. Their book, The Tax Guide for Gamblers, is the most comprehensive one on the subject. See their website at www.rbstaxes.com for more information regarding their practice, articles, and useful tax links. They do business as RBS Tax Services, are located in Las Vegas, Nevada, and can be reached at (800) 829-7271. They also maintain an office in California.