Thoughts

Hi. Come on in. I got a new jackknife. Let's play some mumbletypeg while we speak of the noble game of poker.

Thought: You are not alone. A while back we talked about "Mr. X," a world-class professional poker player in the midst of a run of bad cards. (He was in the pits, is what he was.) My objective was to let you know that during a long run of ugly cards, you aren't alone.

It happens to almost everyone at times, even the top-level pros. Since then it seems that I have heard from every poker player west of the Pecos, who wanted to tell me about his run of outrageous cards. Some of the stories are truly outrageous. Players who have won regularly for years find themselves in a run of bad cards lasting for weeks or even months. Previous winners are now having a hard time breaking even. Players who used to win eight out of 10 sessions are now winning one or two out of 10. Cards that used to run at probability are now running lower than a gopher's bedroom.

How do you deal with this? Some players decide to stop playing until the cards turn, but how will they know whether the cards have turned if they're not playing? So, they go back occasionally to test the waters – and probably get zapped again. Play the cards you get as well as you can, and try not to gripe.

Just another reminder: You are not alone.

Thought: Here's a simple brainteaser. Let's see how many tumble to it. You're playing draw poker with one joker in the deck. What's the best high hand you can make? Of course – five aces. That was too simple. Let me add something. What's the second-best high hand you can make? Again, that was too simple – a royal flush.

Give me one more try. Given that five aces is the best hand and a royal flush is the second-best hand, will five aces beat a royal flush? The answer is, "No." But the question is, "Why not?"

Got it yet? Those who are quick of mind have already come up with the answer. Those who are merely intelligent will get it in a few more seconds. The slower ones will have to wait until the end before knowing.

Thought: The main difference between a skillful low-limit player and an average high-limit player is courage.

Thought: Most serious players who are playing to get the money pick their spots. By that I mean they look over all of the available games to determine which one offers the best profit potential. Most recreational players don't do that. They take any seat that's open to them, completely oblivious to the fact that the next table may offer a much better opportunity.

Many players spend as much as half of their allotted playing time looking for the right game. There are so many good players around today that it's becoming tough to find a significant edge – unless you go looking for it.

Thought: If you're bothered by smokers at the poker table, you might enjoy this story. A nicely dressed, conservatively mannered woman I judged to be in her late 60s was being bothered by cigarette smoke from a player next to her. Twice she quietly asked if he would please keep his smoke out of her face. His reply was along the lines of a sneering, "Drop dead."

The woman said nothing further, but the next time the offending smoker lifted his cigarette to his face, she produced a squirt gun and proceeded to douse the noxious weed, along with the face from which it was protruding. A cheer went up from the other players at the table, with several giving her a standing ovation.

Inconsiderate smokers, beware!

Thought: Most poker players, a very high percentage of them, are overall losers. They don't lose a lot, otherwise they couldn't continue to play. This vast majority of small losers is enough to supply a minority of winners with extra spending money and, in some cases, an entire income.

The smallest minority are the heavy losers, but they don't last long. They soon run out of money, and are replaced by others, who soon run out of money, and so on.

Finished Thought: And now, the long-awaited answer to our brainteaser. Five aces will not beat a royal flush, because five aces will never come up against a royal flush. With only one joker in the deck, if one hand has five aces, the other hand cannot hold a royal flush. There aren't any more aces available to make the hand. Simple, huh? (Hold your applause, please.)

A couple of Band-Aids should take care of those stab wounds. While you go and heal, I'll catch a nap. Kill the light on your way out.

Editor's note: Roy West, author of the best-seller 7 Card Stud, the Complete Course in Winning (available from Card Player), continues to give his successful poker lessons in Las Vegas to both tourists and locals. Ladies are welcome. Get his toll-free 800 number from his ad on Page 77.