2010: A Poker Odyssey

Welcome to the 2010 World Series of Poker! This year, there were sneak-a-peek cameras and high-resolution security cameras at every seat at every table. With the latest and greatest technologies, every hand played was recorded and cataloged for review, analysis, and use in an upcoming 52-week TV series called 2010: A Poker Odyssey.

With limited time and space, I can convey only a few statistics and highlights of the 2010 WSOP championship event. In the field of 32,711 players from 54 countries, there was a record 2,082 women. More than 29,000 of the seats were won on almost 100 different Internet-based casinos. During the life of the tournament, on average, a person busted out every 15 and a half seconds. The celebrity list included Ben Affleck, Fossilman, Spiderman, The Moneymaker, The Widowmaker, The Magician, The Master, The Blaster, The Wiseguy, a few Sopranos, a Russian astronaut, a congressman, a governor, George Bush, John Kerry, and a couple of billionaires. Slugging it out for 14 days, the best and luckiest poker players in the world vied for a prize pool of $307,483,400, which was paid out to 2,862 players at the last 318 tables.

It's estimated that more than 30 percent of the rooms in Las Vegas were scooped up by people participating in this year's WSOP championship event. I heard it got so bad that locals were renting out bedrooms. There were billboards everywhere encouraging people to use the free WSOP shuttle buses to get them from their "staying hotels" to their "playing hotels." This was done due to the unprecedented traffic and parking logjams from last year's WSOP, which attracted only about 21,000 players. In an unconfirmed report, Tournament Director Matt Savage was paid $1 million to spend an entire year planning and implementing every aspect of the 2010 WSOP championship event. Two days after the conclusion of the event, Matt was found in a deep sleep behind the poker snack bar.

Late on day 11, Dan Harrington, author of the New York Times bestseller How to Make the World Series of Poker Final Table Seven Years in a Row, picked up a pair of bullets. He got all of his money in on a flop of A-2-2, with rags on the turn and river. Dan was busted out by quad deuces, and he fell out of his chair unconscious. He was the fourth player removed on a stretcher by EMS personnel. The hospital reported him in stable condition and released him the next day.

Before the start of day 12, Chris Ferguson was preparing some fruit salad by throwing cards at 60 mph at a bowl of fresh fruit. A TV producer stumbled in at the wrong time and took a card between the eyes. The Las Vegas police arrested Chris and he was charged with assault with a deadly card. Friends of Chris bailed him out with $1 million from petty cash and he made it back in time for his first big blind of the day. The producer needed just a few stitches and the charges against Chris were dropped. However, he did get a $125 ticket for throwing cards over the local speed limit.

On day 13, they played down to the final table. Things got so hot that Sammy Farha's cigarette lit itself and he was ejected. After reviewing the security tapes, he was allowed back in the tournament, but all cigars and cigarettes were confiscated. There was also a new "no screaming" rule implemented. It was quite remarkable that Mike Matusow took a bad beat and obeyed the new rule by not uttering a word, but he succumbed to spontaneous human combustion, leaving behind a couple of smoldering sneakers. The authorities are investigating. The Magician, Antonio Esfandiari, was making players disappear so quickly that an inquiry was started. Once again, the security tapes showed he was deploying only his usual tricks. Thanks to Barry Greenstein getting knocked out in 10th place and donating his winnings of $1.5 million, there's a small country in the South Pacific that now has the leading per capita economy in the region.

Day 14 lasted 22 hours, with two technical knockouts for napping on the felt. Every final-table player had won his or her seat on the Internet, each for between $3 and $150.

Here are the final-table results, along with players' Internet names:

Internet Name

1st place – $60,000,000 – Ragnu Uts – Rammer Jammer

2nd place – $30,000,000 – John Smith – Gonna Get You Sucka

3rd place – $15,000,000 – Freddie Degragario – Gut Shooter

4th place – $ 7,500,000 – Tom Salaam – Bad Beater

5th place – $ 3,750,000 – Mary Jane – Cupcake

6th place – $ 3,250,000 – Harry Botter – Rocket Scientist

7th place – $ 2,750,000 – Koichi Hasegawa – Hajimemashta

8th place – $ 2,250,000 – Louis Lewis – Donkey Due

9th place – $ 2,000,000 – Joe Schmo – Aces N Eights

Ragnu Uts, from Las Vegas, is the first professional poker player to win the event in nine years; Carlos Mortensen won in 2001. Nobody seems to know much about Uts, except that he's originally from New York and likes to gamble on everything.

Congratulations to Ragnu Uts, the 2010 WSOP champion. He's the greatest, luckiest, and richest professional poker player in the world, until next year's WSOP championship!

And don't forget to tune in to 2010: A Poker Odyssey every week!

Editor's note: Robert is the 2002 World Series of Poker champion and the instructor on the "WiseGuys on Texas Hold'em" videos, starring some famous actors from the Sopranos. The videos are very informative, as well as entertaining, and are available at wiseguyson.com.