Call the Undertaker

Call the undertaker. I've got a couple of bullets and I'm sending this guy home in a casket. Don't pull that trigger too quickly, Wild Bill Jr. When I pick up a couple of bullets in Texas hold'em, for insurance I like to be wearing my Kevlar jacket just in case something goes awry.

The Eskimos have about a hundred different words for snow, the Hawaiians have about a hundred different words for water, and poker players have about a hundred different ways to describe a pair of aces. Bullets, killers, pocket rockets, missiles, American Airlines, eke & ike, a big pair, big ones, big boys, the wonder pair, my favorite hand, the best starting hand, power hand, sure thing, my best friends, and so on. Poker players talk about picking up bullets the way poets write about falling in love. Let's face it, it's hard not to fall in love with a pair of bullets. But love can be blinding!

Playing bullets is a two-part process. First, you need the good fortune to find the bullets in your hand, and second, you need the destiny to have them hold up when you get action. Yes, it's OK to lay down your bullets after there's heavy betting on the flop, turn, or river with a good chance of there being an obvious flush, straight, full house, or set out there, depending on how many players are participating and what kind of read you have on them. Sometimes an ace on the board brings you action, and sometimes it kills your action. This simple game of poker can get complicated quickly! As in life, there's no sure thing, even when you're holding a couple of aces in the hole.

When playing a no-limit Texas hold'em tournament, a player with a pair of bullets will often get all of his money in before the flop. This is a simple and revealing case to analyze. In the vast majority of cases, this will lead to heads-up play, but on occasion it will result in three-way action. With the help of the handy-dandy Card Player Poker Odds Calculator, let's look at some situations that show us why luck is in fact such a large component of poker, even with a pair of bullets (refer to the chart in the next column).

I like these odds, except when my no-limit tournament life is depending on them in a moment when I don't have the much bigger stack. The numbers speak for themselves. The largest edge when heads up is 93 percent against an unsuited A-K, but as low as 77 percent against some suited connectors. Three-way action hurts your odds, even though you're still a favorite – getting as low as 58 percent in the odd situation against two hands of suited connectors (different connectors and different suits). This table shows that you shouldn't be too disappointed the next time you take down a decent-size risk-free pot with your all-in bet before the flop in tournament play. Perhaps getting the other player to fold is the best way to eliminate the luck factor in a tournament! Just convince everyone that you go all in only with your pair of magic bullets.

The next time you pick up a pair of bullets, buy some flowers. They'll come in handy either way – if you fall in love with them or get killed by them.

Editor's note: Robert is the 2002 World Series of Poker champion and the instructor on the "WiseGuys on Texas Hold'em" videos, starring some famous actors from the Sopranos. The videos are very informative, as well as entertaining, and are available at wiseguyson.com.