tyvm

How cud u r in ep w kxo? R u nutz?

Those of you new to online poker may be mystified by some of what streams past in the chat box. Every online site has a chat box. Players type, and what they "say" appears in the chat box, visible to all seated at the virtual table, and all observing that particular table. It doesn't have to appear, mind you. Most sites offer players the capability of turning chat off completely, filtering it, blocking specific players, and so on. But the default is for it to be on, and that's actually a good thing.

The chat box is another implement in your online toolbox. You don't have observable tells to the extent that you do in a b&m (brick-and-mortar cardroom), so you need everything you can use. Betting patterns are one indicator of opponents' holdings. The speed – or lack thereof – with which a player responds in given situations can also help you determine what the player is holding, and so can player chat.

Most player chat is what folks in the electronics business call noise. They say something like player chat has a low signal-to-noise ratio (or large noise-to-signal ratio). That is, most of it is useless.

Players sit alone in their homes playing online. It's not like it is in a b&m, where you can always schmooze with the folks around you. Online poker is lonely, and players like to simulate the camaraderie they experience in a more crowded environment. So, they "talk" by typing into the chat box. Now, just like in a b&m, most of that talk is either what you'd call small talk or utter nonsense. Some of it is useful, however. Certain players consistently make certain comments in some situations that give away their holdings, and that's very useful.

I know one player who generally reveals his holdings by saying exactly the opposite of what he has. If he says on the river, "I've got top pair and I'm going to call you," you know he doesn't have anything and wants you to check on the off chance that he might win on a showdown if you also don't have much. Another tells you what he's got by asking what you've got. He's got top pair but he's worried you have two pair or maybe a better kicker. You bet on the turn, and he asks, "Do you have top pair?" Since that's what he has, he's trying to find out if your bet means you can beat top pair.

Much of what flows through the chat box, however, is players goading and criticizing each other, yakking about sports (just like in b&ms), or just trying to get to know each other. And that's exactly what the text that you see does, it flows, and quickly. And because it goes by so quickly, players have learned to type in their own special shorthand.

First, since many are very used to IMing (instant messaging) and e-mail, they use terms from those milieus. Second, they use poker terms that look like code to new online players, but that all chat box veterans know.

Some sites are very chatty, while in others you can play for hours and see only two or three words. This may have something to do with the intuitiveness, user-friendliness, and ease of use of the interface, but it also seems to have something to do with the character of the site. Some sites seem to be all business and very serious. Top poker writers have been saying for years that one of the main criteria in ascertaining how good a game is is how friendly that game is. The more chatter, the more laughing, the more teasing (as long as it's good-natured), the better. Conversely, the quieter and more serious the game, the less likely it is to be profitable for the average winning player. Similarly, you'll probably discover online that the more you see in the chat box – just as long as it isn't acerbic – the better the game.

You will encounter terms like lol (laughing out loud) and rotfl (rolling on the floor laughing), just as in e-mail and IM. Those of the now generation don't type "ha ha." (In fact, some folks become so much a part of their computer worlds that they actually say "L-O-L" in "live" company in response to something they think is funny.) And when they mean "ha ha ha ha" (that is, something is extra funny), they'll type lmao (laughing my ass off) or rotflmao (rolling on the floor laughing my ass off).

When someone takes down a pot with a good hand, someone else often types nh (nice hand). Some times, the loser of the pot, trying to demonstrate good sportsmanship, types it. It's all in good fun. The response is ty (thank you). This gets carried to an extreme some times, and you'll see a chorus of nhs and tys after every hand, even if the player just won the blinds. That's what I meant by large noise-to-signal ratio. If a player is particularly effusive with his thanks, he types tyvm (thank you very much). One site has sounds associated with some of the standard chat terms. Type lol and you hear an insane cackle. Type tyvm and you hear the voice of Elvis. Fortunately, that site also has an option to turn off such sounds.

Also, just as in IM, players shorten what they say for quick typing and quick reading. The word "you" is often reduced to u. Players deliberately misspell some words just because it's shorter, so you often see yur or ur for "your." You'll see kno or even kn for "know." It may get confusing when the same shortening has more than one meaning, but you can usually tell by context what is meant. For example, r can mean "are" or "raise."

Look at the table, and you'll see that the sentence at the start of this screed means, "How could you raise in early position with king-x offsuit? Are you nuts?"

Since they're playing for real money, and some players can't handle the pressure, emotions some times run wild. People think that because they're anonymous and hiding in their lonely rooms behind their secret identities, they can get away with things that would get them punched in the nose in public. Some times it gets out of hand and becomes offensive, and it may offend you personally or drive away players you'd just as soon see stay in the game. If that happens, you can quickly send off an e-mail to the site's support division and ask them to monitor the game for a while. If it really becomes too much, that person may find his chat privileges turned off for a day – or more. So, don't wonder at seeing fu, which I won't translate. Just know that you don't have to ignore it.

My favorite is wylcwtw. You say that to someone who has been complaining entirely too much about a bad beat – often when what happened isn't much of a beat, anyway.