Quotes and Quips

A couple of years ago, I wrote a column in which I included quotes and quips from many of the poker players that I know or met somewhere along the way. After the column was published, I had several players tell me they wished I had asked them for a quote or quip. So, I asked them for their quotes or quips and – depending on whether I thought they were clever, witty, or funny – wrote them down and told them that if I ever did another column of quotes and quips, I would include theirs.



I must make one disclaimer: I can't guarantee that all of the quotes or quips are original. I hope you enjoy them.



Greg Raymer: As the 2005 WSOP wound down to the last couple of events, I ran into Greg and asked him if there was any part, even a small part, of him that would be glad that his reign as world champion could possibly be over shortly. He replied, without hesitation, very simply, "Not really."



Phil Quayle: "If I'm grinnin', I'm winnin'."



Susie Isaacs: "Play good, and when all else fails – suck out."



Chad Brown: Upon conclusion of our commentary on one of the Ultimate Poker Challenge telecasts, the director, Sam Riddle, looked up at Chad and me and said, "That was great guys, good job."



I asked Chad if Sam was always that complimentary to him and his co-host. Chad replied, "Hell, no; a lot of the time he says, 'That really sucked.'"



Tina Sue: "Girls just wanna have funds."



George Marlowe: When someone at the poker table questioned the fairness of life, George quipped, "If life were fair, horses would ride half of the time."



Chuck Thompson: As Chuck was walking toward the door after just being knocked out of a tournament, someone trying to needle him asked, "Where you going, Chuck?"



Chuck shot back in a stern voice, with no hesitation, "Hey, I got things to do!"



Magic (who works as a floorman at the Orleans Casino): While observing a hold'em game with several younger players and several older players, he said, "The older they are, the bigger their kicker!



Brian Wilson: "I won a bracelet and now people give me guff about wearing it. I always reply, 'When you have one, we can talk!'"



Pete Barbas: When someone asked him what the odds were of A-10 offsuit beating two jacks, he replied, "Depends on who has the ace-ten."



Christian Voorhees: "Poker tournaments are a lottery with a positive expectation."



"Oklahoma Johnny" Hale: "I talk slow and write long."



Roland Waters: "It's unlucky to be superstitious."



Pete Anthony: When someone stopped Pete and asked him for $20 in walking-around money, he reached in his pocket, took out a $10 bill, and said, "Here, walk slow."



Max "the Axe" Shapiro: "You know you really sucked out to win a tournament when the prize money is presented to you in a beautifully gift-wrapped box."



Tom McEvoy: "If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."

"Drink until he or she is cute."



Byron Liggett: "May all your flops be hits."



Barbara Enright: "Be the hammer, not the nail."



Luis Santoni: "It could always be worse."



Frank DiElsi: "Have some patience, they're not closing the doors tomorrow."



Brad Daugherty: "The cards don't always recognize talent."



Pat Flanagan: "Don't risk a battleship to win a rowboat."



Bob Craig: "The best way to win a tournament is to play every hand."



Sunny Bredice: When asked her favorite starting hand, she stated, "Depends on the flop."



Denny Axel: "Always look for the silver lining. There is something good to be said for running bad: If you run bad long enough, everybody knows it and nobody asks to borrow money!"



Brandi Williams (Ultimate Poker Challenge): "May the flop be with you."

I have saved the best for last, and even though I normally would not want to use such a long quote, I thought this one deserved to be included:



Steve Badger: "Fortune favors the bold. Nobody ever said fortune favors the greedy, for good reason. World history and poker history are littered with people who wanted everything – sometimes even when they had almost everything.



Wanting everything is the quickest way to having nothing that I know."



For what it's worth …