The 2005 Alternative Poker Awards

Trade and Industry Award for Salesmanship:

PartyPoker, which included a 27-page section in its prospectus outlining the risks attached to the online poker business.



Among those risks was a warning that in America, home of 90 percent of its customers, "The group's activities are considered to be illegal." The prospectus went on to warn that "imprisonment of relevant individuals, such as directors" could not be ruled out.



If this were not enough, prospective shareholders were told that with 2,000 online gambling sites and 200 Internet poker sites, there is arguably an excess of suppliers, and figures could fall short of expectations.



On its stock-market launch, PartyPoker shares duly soared in value.



It's All About Timing Award:

PartyPoker, which, on the eve of the stock-market flotation of two rival sites, issued a warning to the stock market that the rate of growth in online poker had fallen behind projected figures.



Amazingly, so did the market worth of these two organisations – quickly and sharply!



Award for the Longest Dwell-Up:

Carlo Citrone, who surely spent less time going through puberty than he takes to make an average decision.



We Don't Need Promotion Award:

Holland Casino in Amsterdam is a deserving winner of this award. Having refused sponsorship of its Master Classics of Poker for years, this year, the organisers outdid themselves by leaving media representatives and their cameramen stranded at the front door – the closest they got to the action.



The Best-Kept [€5.5 million] Secret Award:

Congratulations to Dublin's new Sporting Emporium Casino and Cardroom, which managed to have an official opening without inviting members of the trade media or any national newspapers that feature a poker column.



Under-the-Gun Award:

The four players from Northern England who somehow found themselves tied up at gunpoint in a Las Vegas brothel during the World Series of Poker.



Award for Organisation and Smooth Running:

Grand Casino Barcelona, whose EPT leg was a little too successful in terms of numbers.



Awry Gamble of the Year Award (Sponsored by the League Against Cruel Sports):

The betting exchange punter who mistakenly laid 2-1 favorite Martin Wendt at 33-1 as the cards were in the air for the first hand in the Ladbrokes Poker Million.



Try as he might, he was unable to trade out of the situation and stared at a "sea of red" throughout the televised $1 million final. The next day, the said betting exchange received an irate but futile phone call claiming foul play!



The Promoter with Six Appeal Award:

Barry Hearn's determination to press on with televised six-seater crapshoots is easily explained, considering his success in them.



The man who has made televised fishing and 10-pin bowling mainstream sports is simply formidable at game-show poker.



Serial tournament winner Roy "The Boy" Brindley is sponsored by and writes courtesy of ladbrokespoker.com.