Rules of the Game: Part V

Many new players are coming into brick-and-mortar (B&M) cardrooms for the first time. They have played online and in home games, but may not know the rules and conventions of live cardroom play, and might get tripped up.



Appropriate Language

While some cardroom rules seem designed solely to trip up the unwary, others have a good reason for their existence. Back in the days when a sawdust joint was just a room at the back of a tavern ("I'll have what the boys in the backroom are having"), anyone could say anything he wanted and be just as abusive as he wanted without penalty. (And it usually was "he" in those days.) For this reason, women and other genteel folk were seldom in evidence. When cardrooms expanded their presence and wanted to attract a wider clientele, they had to clean up their acts, which meant disallowing language not considered to be appropriate in polite company.



Most cardrooms now have a rule to the effect that players must not use inappropriate language. While the rule exists in most cardrooms and is usually universally enforced, it often is not written down anywhere. Even if written down, though, what is not spelled out is how the rule is enforced, and in that respect, there truly is no consistency among cardrooms. Some have a zero-tolerance implementation. One drop of an F-bomb gets the perpetrator barred, but even then, the ban is variously enforced. One cardroom might bar a player for good for just one infraction. And the list of proscribed words might include some that are not even considered swearing in many circles. Another might bar a player for a month, a week, a day, or maybe only one shift. Some give a player a warning before enacting a ban. Some ask a player to take a five-, 10-, or 15-minute timeout and then implement a ban only on a second infraction.



All of this is a different issue on the Internet. All online cardrooms have a specific injunction against using certain words in the chat box, and enforce the rule by means of filtering software. So if you call the opponent who draws out on your flopped set with a backdoored runner-runner double-bellybuster straight a "stupid fink," where "fink" here is actually any one of a number of banned cuss words, the software turns that into "stupid ****," and the recipient of the opprobrious remark knows just that he's been called something nasty without being aware of what word was actually typed. Of course, many inventive name-callers defeat the censorious filter by using judicious spacing, as in "you stupid fi nk," or phonetic spelling, as in "you stupid phink" or "finc." But if such modified invective offends another player and the injured party complains to the site's support department, a live human being monitors the chat of the offending party for a while, and if the monitor finds the vituperation to actually be thinly disguised swearing and clearly offensive, he turns off the offender's chat function, effectively silencing that player either permanently or at least for some period of time. The equivalent action cannot be implemented in a live cardroom, so permanent or temporary barring is the usual response.



In private games, behavior is often tolerated that would not be allowed in a public cardroom, particularly in those games frequented only by males. In mixed-gender games, common decency usually holds sway, particuarly since everyone usually knows each other.



The bottom line of all of this is that if you're playing in a cardroom, for heaven's sake, watch your language. If you're one of those who loves taking it out on opponents in the chat box with colorful language, restrain yourself. Otherwise, you'll find that you won't be playing for very long. And be even more vigilant in a tournament. Some cardrooms tolerate a bit of justifiable anger in live games, realizing that for some people, the loss of large sums can generate emotional responses. They do not permit even the slightest slip in tournaments, though, exacting either an immediate ejection for the first offense or, at the least, a timeout, during which blinds and antes continue to be posted, and usually ejection and forfeiture of buy-in for a second offense.



Many cardrooms also do not tolerate abusive behavior or criticism of the other players, even if not accompanied by actual use of foul language. Again, watch yourself. Even if such behavior is not specifically forbidden, you'll find that incorporating it generates ill feelings and makes a game an unpleasant experience for all.



Michael Wiesenberg's The Ultimate Casino Guide, published by Sourcebooks, is available at fine bookstores and at Amazon.com and other online book purveyors. Send questions, quotes, and quiddities to [email protected].