Minding the Golden Goose

Good cardrooms look after their punters; badly run ones don't give a toss. A while ago, my better half returned from playing poker quite disgruntled. He had been playing at Dusk Till Dawn as it was hosting some cracking cash games. He had lost (nothing major), but what was really annoying was that his game suddenly disintegrated when a "fish" walked in and the other players hustled this tasty morsel into an identical game on a new table, leaving him like a beached whale on the seashore.

Now, you might say, "So what? Nothing's stopping him from putting his name down for the new game." Of course that's true, but he'd driven an hour to get there. It was already after midnight, and he wasn't about to hang around for an hour or two in the hope of getting a seat in the game he wanted when that also might break down. It's a credit to the management that they were very concerned, obviously, because unhappy punters don't usually return, but there are far more serious issues involved here than whether or not an individual poker player has a gripe.

First of all, it means that your fellow punters are "hit-and-run" merchants, and given the slightest pretext, will disappear with your money. This, of course, happens all the time online, but that's OK, because at home, you're in your comfort zone and also have a plethora of other games to choose from. That obviously is not the case when you've travelled for an hour on a dark wintry night, only to get shafted at the other end. So, what does this mean for the game? Well, if you have half a brain, it means that any inclination you might have to speculate should be severely curtailed. Wait for the monster, hope it stands up, and then do a runner yourself. In effect, the game becomes tight, and eventually, most fish will stop playing because the game becomes so boring.

On the other hand, if the game is protected and nurtured by having "must-move" feeder games, players are much less likely to do a runner, which in turn means that everyone can gamble more because the game is unlikely to disintegrate if there's a queue of people waiting to join it. In addition, moving from one table to its duplicate is the perfect opportunity for weeding.

Naturally, he complained to the powers that be, and quite rightly, this fantastic new cardroom has now instituted rules that prevent a recurrence of this situation and thereby protect its cash players; what's more, he received an e-mail explaining the new arrangements. That's what I call being on the ball and minding the goose that lays the golden egg.

Elsewhere, I'm equally pleased to report that some poker players have begun to display signs of intelligence and common sense. They have talked with their feet and abandoned cardrooms with excessive rakes. Now, I understand that some companies are struggling and need to find more income, but what I dislike about rake is that it can get abused, especially where dealer tipping is allowed. Are all dealers both honest and so proficient in maths that every rake is accurately assessed and nothing extra is added on for their own consumption? Even if they are, why put temptation in their way? In London, the Palm Beach has lost some of its big punters back to the Vic, and Aspers in Newcastle has seen its numbers decline so much that it asked punters back for a meeting and then offered to reinstate hourly sessions on the bigger games and rake only the smaller ones. Apparently, that offer was rejected, as the rake suggested was still horrendous. Well done, guys!

For those of you who like the idea of the winner paying everyone's session fees, why not adopt Binion's method? Every 20 minutes when the dealer is changed, a "time pot" is called and the winner pays the session. The money is put to one side and collected by the supervisor. Players not at the table when the time pot is called pay a $5 fee, which goes to the winner of the pot, who will have paid everybody's time. It's very efficient and fair.

Lucy has been playing poker for 20 years and has won more than $1 million in tournament prize money all over the world. She prefers playing pot-limit Omaha and pot-limit seven-card stud eight-or-better.