The 2008 World Series of Poker

I had high hopes for the World Series this year. I've been running fairly salty in tournaments for the past year, and figured it was about time that my luck changed. I figured wrong.

Things started out all right. I finished 292nd out of a huge field in the first $1,500 no-limit hold'em event. I almost tripled my money, which was nice, but it didn't help much after I figured out how much all these damn buy-ins were going to cost me. About 10 days later, I got down to the final two tables in the $3,000 H.O.R.S.E. event.

My chip count was never above average during the whole tournament. In fact, once we got down to 12 players, it looked like we were all dead even in chips! Not only that, but with the blinds skyrocketing, we were all now short stacks, as well.

That's about the time this hand came up. It was very marginal, but I decided to try to make something happen. It almost worked, but at the last second ... Well, here's how it came down:

It was stud eight-or-better and I was in late position with split tens and an 8. I was the high card and there were no other tens or nines out, which meant that everyone else had a baby. An 8 raised from early position. There was an ace and another 8 in front of me that were folded.

Now, since I had split tens with an 8 and there were two eights out, the raiser might have dead split eights, which would make me a nice favorite over his hand. Or, if he had three low cards, his chances of making a low were greatly diminished, with all of the other babies out of the deck.

Either way, as long as he didn't have an overpair, I was going to be in good shape in a heads-up situation. Knowing all of this, I reraised and got the two players behind me out of the pot, leaving just the two of us. It started out perfectly.

On fourth street, he caught a 9, and I caught a 4. The 4 didn't help my hand much, but it was another low card that he couldn't catch. We call those cards blockers. He check-called, and I know that if he can break off (catch another high card) one more time, I'll win this pot right here.

On fifth street, I catch a paint and he catches a deuce. Now, this is bad, because he got back on track for his low. But it's not too bad, as he couldn't have picked up any straight potential here. He's probably just drawing for half of the pot.

Sixth street looked perfect. I made open fours, and he paired his doorcard, an 8. This is usually pretty scary, but remember, all the eights are gone, so he can't have trips here. He reaches for his chips and starts to bet, but thinks better of it after looking at my open pair, and checks. Smart man, as I was gonna pop him!

We're both pretty short-stacked by now. I believe the limit was 8,000-16,000, and I had less than 20,000, while my opponent had only about half a bet left. I was about to almost double up and be a big chip leader here. Then, after sweating his cards for an eternity - he bets his last few chips. Damn it! I just lost at least half the pot now. Well, maybe not, I tell myself. He just may be betting eights up because he was going to call anyway.

My sick feeling over losing half the pot subsides slightly as I call. That sick feeling returns with all of his friends as my opponent announces that he has aces up! Oh, my God! He hit a two-outer on me to scoop this whole giant pot!

I'm down, but not out. I still have a few chips left, and we go on break, which gives me a chance to cool down. I realize that the hold'em round is in two hands and that the button is to my immediate left. That means that I'll get several free hands before I have to make a stand.

We get back, and I have my game plan; any ace or any two paints, and I push all in. I don't have to wait long. I get an ace and raise, only to get a walk. OK, I'll take that. Two hands later, I have K-J under the gun and raise. The big blind announces that he may as well get me all in, and reraises me. I reraise all in, and just hope I'm live.

I'm ecstatic when he turns over J-10! I'm about a 2.5-1 favorite, and I win it. Before I can get too happy about my chip-up, they announce that the blinds are going up. Great! I weave around a few rounds before this final hand.

I raise from up front with A-Q suited, only to get three-bet by a player I know to be a bit on the loose side. I reraise, and his final reraise puts me all in. I can tell that I have the best hand by his lack of enthusiasm, but don't dare hope to have him dominated. He has A-10!

Now, just dodge a 10 and I'm really back in this thing! Well, forget about it, as it was the window card and I was out. I finished 12th for a measly $19,424; lovely, after three days of work.

As it turned out, that was my only shot to make a final table during the whole freakin' Series. I never finished in the money again. I got close twice when I had a good amount of chips, but ce la vie, or whatever the French say when they keep losing wars.

I was gonna tell you what happened to me in the main event, but to tell the truth, after reliving all of that again, I'm much too ticked off. I think I'm gonna go down to this bar near my house where all the police hang out. I'm gonna get drunk and start yelling something about all cops being gay and see how many of them it takes to arrest me.