Respecting Your Opponents: Who, What, Where, When, Why, How?

Attention weekend warriors, recreational players, and aspiring semi-professionals within the poker world. My name is Jonathan Green, I’m a semi-professional player originally from Schenectady, NY now living in Las Vegas, NV. My mantra with respect to poker is simple. Never forget that study, focus, reflection, and commitment to improvement on one’s game are the keys to remaining in action not only today, but twenty years from now. Vacations and weekends have provided me the opportunity to travel the poker tournament circuit the last eight years to study the game I have come to love. The lessons I have learned along the way will serve to better inform and educate our poker community members. I am passionate about the long term growth and sustainability of the poker world, and look forward to having a positive impact on the game and our community.

People often say that respect is earned in life, but I’d be willing to bet the person who utters those words more often than not has seen one too many gangster movies. When it comes to the general health and well-being of the poker community, I will argue that respect needs to be a starting point when dealing with anyone and everyone.

Respect – Who? (Everyone)

I will say it again because it is worth repeating: When it comes to the general health and well-being of the poker community, I will argue that respect needs to be a starting point when dealing with anyone and everyone, including, but not limited to, floorpeople, dealers, opponents, railbirds, cocktail servers, chip runners, valet staff, casino hosts, and even people who are widely believed to have stolen from others within the community. There is no room for judgment or criticism of others in this world, period.

The U.S. and international Judicial systems have been set up to prosecute malfeasance. Recent threats of violence, wishes for violence, and condoning violence against people who may have stolen money is absolute lunacy and short-term thinking. Yes, people are frustrated and angered that their money may be gone forever. Many feel their trust was violated by various scandals, yet this feeling does not justify vigilanteeism. Focus on respect, focus on what is within your span of influence, and focus on the passion which drove you to poker in the first place. The poker community is in need of a reset.

Respect – What? (The Game)

Let’s collectively agree to respect the game of poker and attempt to shed a more positive light on our community. Remember, every day, new players are drawn to the game we already love, so let’s actively invest in these new players so they have a positive experience. Investing in new players means biting your tongue when they make a bad play. It means when they ask questions about the scandals, you either speak about the facts, or you acknowledge your ignorance of the situation. It means never shooting an angle or attempting to cheat or steal from anyone. Remember, integrity is what happens when nobody is looking. The game of poker cannot grow and prosper without integrity being ingrained. The poker community is in need of a reset!

Respect – Where? (Everywhere)

Whether in a live game or online, respecting your fellow poker community members in not always easy. Refrain from taking the bait when others lose control, attempt to criticize your play, or needle you when you lose a pot. A recent session at the Commerce Casino tested my own patience when I sat in an $8-$16 limit hold’em game with a half kill to $12-$24. The first two hands I played were pocket kings and pocket jacks, both in the very first orbit. I lost both hands to drawouts. The fast paced nature of limit hold ‘em games in LA, combined with the numerous players who see each flop in these jackpot games, leads to more beats and rude behavior. After each beat I showed the table my hand, attempting to create a solid image and to gauge the reaction of my table mates.

Both times, numerous people laughed, pointed, and snickered. I refused to take the bait, and sat quietly in observation of the ridiculous, venomous actions of the offending parties. I am not kidding; this is apparently standard behavior in these games, and merely the tip of the iceberg compared to some L.A stories I have heard. In another recent example, I witnessed a well-known young, internet-trained player at the weekly M Resort H.O.R.S.E tournament throw his cards over the dealer’s head and onto the floor during an Omaha-8-or-better hand (he had missed his low draw and went on life tilt). The floor had to be called to retrieve the cards and warn the player. The poker community is in need of a reset!

Respect – When? (Starting now)

When you respect the game, the casino staff, and your opponents, you get back to the passion which brought each of us to the game in the first place! When you release that tension, anger, tilt, and hostility, your game will improve as your previous negative focus will now make way for positive thoughts, actions, and clear thinking. Your calm demeanor will be an example for your table mates and will help contribute to everyone’s enjoyment and experience. When others lose their temper, yell at dealers, or harass other players, try changing the subject, telling a joke, or deflecting that negative energy away from your table. A quiet, tense table is a table where players are thinking through every decision, afraid to look bad or make a bad play, and are likely looking around the room for a fun game to get into. Nobody enjoys playing with a bunch of down, negative, hostile, angry, fussy or grumpy opponents, so set the example and keep the atmosphere fun and loose. The poker community is in need of a reset!

Respect – Why? (To Improve)

Ego and poker go hand in hand. Most players would elevate their games to heights they never imagined possible if they had the ability to set their ego to the side and play cards. Since money is used to keep score in poker, egos often ride on the size of one’s bankroll or most recent tournament score. This is flawed, results-based thinking. Do yourself a favor and try to play each hand to the best of your ability. Think through the ramifications of the various paths laid out before you prior to taking an action, both at the table and in your daily dealings. Try respecting everyone and staying focused on the moment, so your mind is free to focus on new ideas, new plays, or new ways of thinking about poker. The poker community is in need of a reset!

Respect – How? (Being nice)

Remember that you are no better than your opponents, and they are no better than you. We are all humans and deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Our poker community is a real community. We all serve our community through our actions, or drag it down by our actions. The actions of a few people can have a ripple effect which impacts everyone. So, instead of contributing to the negativity and the judgment which is pervasive in poker, try contributing to the general well-being of the community by being nice. If someone makes a mistake, try calmly discussing your thoughts on the subject without rushing to judgment, without raising your voice. You may find a lot more people willing to listen to what you have to say. Someone who can remain calm in high stress situations will evolve and grow. Look yourself in the mirror and demand respect from yourself, demand that your attitude and demeanor be classy and second to none at the table. Above all else, remember to treat others the way you expect to be treated. We can all do a better job of focusing on the positive and contributing to the needed shift in our world on and off the felt. The poker community is in need of a reset! ♠

Jonathan Green is a Commercial Manager for the General Electric Company and a semi-professional poker player, currently living in Las Vegas, NV.  Jonathan spent 2004-2011 living and playing on the east coast tournament trail, with annual trips to the WSOP since 2007. In between tournaments, Jonathan can be found playing middle limit mixed cash games in L.A. and Vegas. All feedback is welcome at:  [email protected].