Perception of Nonsense

Many is the time I’ve raked a pot while saying, “They can’t figure out your strategy if you don’t have one.” The perception of nonsense is a strength of my game.

Note that I said perception of nonsense. There’s a difference between real nonsense and perceived nonsense — and the distinction is crucial. It’s real nonsense, clearly, to cold-call a raise and a reraise with 6-4 offsuit. But it’s only perceived nonsense to take that same hand and open for a raise on the button with (to your keen eye) proven willing-to-surrender blinds waiting to act behind. From that raise can come two good outcomes. First, the blinds might fold, either right then or under subsequent bluffy pressure. Second, even better, you could hit the flop, drive all the way, and get the chance to show down your winning rags — your perceived nonsense — whereupon you get to say, “They can’t figure out your strategy if you don’t have one,” while you stack the chips. It is of secondary importance here that you won the pot. It’s the chance to advertise your nonsense that really gives value to the play.

So, how can 6-4 offsuit not be worth a call but yet be worth a raise? The answer lies not in the cards, but in the situation surrounding the cards. If you call a raise and a reraise with a bad hand, you have scant chance of winning (since you have to hit to win) and no chance of enhancing your image (since you just look like the donkey you are). But if you raise with bad cards, you put yourself in a position both to win and to shape others’ (mis)perception of you. To me that’s enlightened nonsense, and I encourage you to look for opportunities to thrust it upon you foes.

The trouble is, some of your foes aren’t that smart. They don’t appreciate the distinction between real nonsense and perceived nonsense. In other words, they truly don’t have a strategy — nay, nor even a clue — and you must therefore adjust accordingly. You’ve heard this set of adjustments boiled down to such trite-and-trueisms as “Don’t waste money advertising to players who aren’t paying attention,” and “Don’t try to bluff the bluff-proof.” This is wise wisdom, but it only goes so far. Forget about tweaking your tactics; you must tweak your entire approach.

Isn’t it true where you play, for example, that many players who limp with rags will limp/call a raise with those same rags? They may (or may not) have been right to make the first call but they rarely stop to contemplate whether it’s correct or not to call the second time around. They’re “in for a penny, in for a pound,” and what the hell, K-9 offsuit can hit just as easily as any other hand can, right? As a consequence of this real nonsense, we see some pretty funky holdings in some fairly hefty pots. At which point, of course, it becomes more correct to call with thin draws, and sensible players take some vile and horrendous beats at the hands of the woodentops around them — woodentops who then get to say, and unfortunately mean, “They can’t figure out your strategy if you don’t have one.”

You have to adjust your approach. If you know that opponents will make bad calls on top of other bad calls, then you can’t consistently raise to thin the field, because the field won’t thin. All your raise does is give them a chance to compound their errors. That’s not a bad thing, but recognize that in this sort of game any preflop raise you make into previous callers will probably just increase the chance that you’re going to have to show down the best hand in order to claim the pot. Thus you want to drive even harder with big tickets, but back off your raises with drawing hands like suited connectors and middle pairs, where you’re going to have to improve a lot to overtake random hands in the hands of true believers who insist on calling your raise.

That’s the thing about true believers: they call; they just do. In the long run, we know, that’s a losing strategy for them and a money-making opportunity for you. So just keep hammering away with your quality cards, avoid mixing it up with trash, and know that eventually all their loose calls will come back to haunt them. But in the meantime, it’s the short run and not the long run, and it’s vital that you remain clear in your mind about the difference between real nonsense and perceived nonsense; between sinking to their level and only seeming to sink.

In most low buy-in games, you will witness almost flabbergasting mistakes hand after hand, hour after hour, day after day. You can beat these games, but it requires sensitivity to real nonsense on your part, plus a willingness to project perceived nonsense. Keep your wits about you while simultaneously seeming to lose your mind. Make strong plays against weak opponents while talking quite openly about your supposedly weak plays against superior foes. Punish them for their mistakes while appearing to be making mistakes of your own. In other words, play your strength and advertise your weakness. They can’t figure out your strategy if you don’t have one — and if you play your cards right, they’ll never know that you do. ♠

John Vorhaus is author of the Killer Poker series and co-author of Decide to Play Great Poker, plus many mystery novels including World Series of Murder, available exclusively on Kindle. He tweets for no apparent reason @TrueFactBarFact and secretly controls the world from johnvorhaus.com.