Don't Break the Bubble

"On the bubble" is a poker term that means finishing one out of the money in a tournament. It is one of poker's most lugubrious expressions, ranking right up there with "I got my aces cracked," and "they moved me from the button into the big blind." Because of the high level of frustration, it is considered to be even more devastating than being the first player knocked out. You play well, work hard, do everything right, are within smelling distance of the money … and end up with as much as the player who was first out.

Of course, "on the bubble" has different meanings to different players and, like an actual bubble, can be stretched a bit. For example, if you were suicidal enough to stake a railbird in a tournament and then later asked him how far he got, he would probably claim to have finished on the bubble, just one out of the money. Well, he might have … providing that the tournament paid 29 tables.

To Dirty Wally, ending on the bubble means getting knocked out one table away from making the final room in a tournament.

But the classic definition, of course, is ending up one shy of the payout list.

As a tournament gets close to the money, oftentimes someone, out of compassion for the "bubble boy," will make a suggestion to take enough money out of first place to pay off the player who finishes one out of the money. This touching, humanitarian gesture is usually made by the player with the fewest chips or by a player who has staked him or made a save with him.

To go into effect, every remaining player must agree, and this sometimes leads to ugly situations. Let's say you have a massive chip lead, expect to win, and don't feel like being touched up for a donation to some loser you don't even know. So, you cast the lone veto, and everybody stares and boos and hisses and shakes his fist at you as if you were Ebenezer Scrooge. Someone might even call for a rope.

Or maybe you just have strong feelings about not turning poker into a charity event and say "no" out of principle, even though you yourself might be low on chips. You still end up playing the role of the villain and have to ask security to walk you to your car to avoid getting punched by the player you kept from being paid off.

Lots of times a player will have strong objections but will keep his mouth shut just because he doesn't want to have everyone angry at him.

Wait a minute. What's so special about being on the bubble, anyway? Let's say the tournament pays 27 spots, and everyone votes for giving player No. 28 the same payout as player 27. What that means is that the player finishing in 29th place is now effectively on the bubble. How about paying him off, too? And the player after him. And the one after him – all the way down the line to the first player out, taking the money out of the overall prize pool. That means everyone will get his or her buy-in back, and everyone will be happy.

Stupid? I suppose, but you get the point.

Being on the bubble serves other purposes, as well. Warren Karp finished on the bubble several times during this year's World Series, which in turn provided him with enough material for a whole column in which he complained about his misfortune. Suppose he had been paid off? Had that happened, what would Warren have to carp about?

Now, how do you avoid getting into the situation of being identified as the lone cheapskate in the crowd, the pitiless boor who deprived some struggling chap of his rent money? Well, the best way is to tell the tournament director at the outset that you're opposed to such deals. That way, the disbursement proposal will be nipped in the bud, and the TD can just say there was a prior objection. That way, there's no vote and the player who vetoed the whole thing need not be identified.

No, having a "bubble boy" is a sacred part of tournament poker, so let's not bust the bubble. On the contrary, let's help the bubble boy celebrate and commemorate his tragic finish. Give him a tee shirt reading, "I Finished on the Bubble at the (name of tournament)." Now he can parade around and advertise his misfortune to the world without having to say a word. Or, if he wants to draw even more attention, give him one of those bubble wands and a jar of soap water so he can stroll through the tournament room blowing bubbles while everybody cheers.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. The exception would be if I ever manage to get that far in a tournament. After all, what's one measly little deduction from the top prize to help a deserving but unlucky player?