My Love-Hate Affair With Poker, or, Life Lessons Learned by an Average Poker Player but an Expert on Living

Author's note: Joanie Destino (what a great name for a writer) was kind enough to share more of her thoughts in this column. The last two columns she wrote for me stirred up some debate about the great game of seven-card stud. Here, she writes about how poker affects her in various ways. Perhaps you can relate to what she says. I met Joanie in a $15-$30 stud game at the Mirage many years ago. I have watched her game improve to the point where she is a force to be reckoned with. At first, she was a demure housewife who played as a hobby. Then, she became quite a student of the game, and her results speak volumes. Not only is she a talented writer and wonderful friend of mine, she again has helped me to meet a column deadline while I was busy enjoying the wonders of Japan and the Japanese Poker Championship.

And now, heeere's Joanie!

Thanks to Jan Fisher's generosity, I'm loving this opportunity to share with other poker players some of my thoughts, observations, opinions, and suggestions about the topic of poker. But why me? After all, Card Player is officially subtitled The Poker Authority. What can I add to the amazing plethora of expert advice from gifted and experienced players and students of the game who contribute to every issue? Read on to find out.

I've been playing poker in casinos for many years. I've read dozens of books and hundreds of Card Player articles, taken seminars, bought software, picked the brains of successful players, and searched deep inside myself for my own holy grail of poker playing. "Everyone has to develop his own style," I've been told. Mine seems to be all over the map, and affected by everything from a hangnail to a full moon. I have my great days when playing correctly yields pot after pot, and each pile of chips shoved in my direction boosts my self-confidence. At other times, no matter what I do, the cards don't break my way, I am tortured by flop lag, and so on. That kind of experience usually leads to tilt mode, and I toss my poker stash all over the table. I know I'm describing something that every poker player understands. But, just maybe, those who are willing to accept an inevitable truth may benefit from what I have to say. And to what inevitable truth am I referring? This one: Some poker players are blessed with a fertile combination of substantive card sense (intuition) and the ability to proficiently hone the skills necessary to be a winning player – and some are not.

Does this mean that all of us less-than-championship-caliber players are supposed to slink off to the rail, never to sit in a challenging poker game again? Not on your stone-cold nuts of a life. We can play with the best of them, and we can improve our games. We just have to be a lot more careful (and I'm not referring to playing too tightly or timidly) and definitely more disciplined (my least favorite thing). You've heard this advice many times before: Don't play when you're tired, distracted, emotionally upset, or drunk. And don't play with money you can't afford to lose. Duh!

But if we also accept that we cannot depend on some inalienable playing instinct or talent to bolster us under less than optimal playing conditions, we can avoid the worst of the pitfalls (most of the time, anyway) and play as well as our individual neural connections will allow.

Let me put all of this another way. If you are not a talented, instinctive player with proven money management skills, you'd better love playing poker more than just about anything, be willing to work on improving your game, and make sure you're risking only discretionary money. If you can meet these criteria, you belong at the table.

Is all of this just another bunch of platitudes wrapped up in poker jargon? Probably, but sometimes it pays to stop and smell or wake up and taste the clichés.

Next time: How Seven-Card Stud Stole My Heart and Took Over My Mind

Thanks, Joanie, for filling in for me while I was away in the Far East eating sushi and riding bullet trains at 200 mph. Class dismissed.

There is still time to make a room reservation at the Oasis Resort Casino in Mesquite for the Oasis Open, commencing on May 21, with an early-bird special on May 20. Rooms are $15 per night, and with a fair amount of play, you will be comped. Meet me at the Oasis!