Help for Your Game, Physically and Mentally

Hi. Come on in. I've just finished frying up a batch of breaded zucchini. I give it to the kids every Halloween. You'll love it.

As a public service to poker players, I am about to decrease your level of frustration and increase the level of your physical conditioning. (You can thank me later.) I have discovered a marvelous, surefire way to get the exact parking space I want at any casino where I play.

At almost any major casino in the ever-expanding poker world, to get to the poker room, a player must first walk a considerable distance. It's not at all unusual, once you have parked your car in the casino parking lot, to then walk a long block before you are able to become seated in your poker chair. I have determined how to gain a double anti-stress benefit from this daily distance.

Like most people, I had the habit of circling the parking lot, seeking the closest possible parking space. Oftentimes on a weekend, this left me frustrated when the "closest" space was somewhere west of Pahrump. Then one day came a brilliant flash within my mind.

I am here to report that I have discovered how to get my parking space, every time. I merely decided I wanted a space way in the back! These spaces are easy to get, so I am no longer frustrated by not having the parking space I want.

The first benefit was a reduction in frustration. The second benefit was the exercise from the long walk, at a brisk pace, from my far-removed vehicular resting spot. Both of these benefits increased my level of alertness, and thus my level of play. (Am I pulling your leg? Certainly not! If you're a lovely redhead, it would be a good idea; otherwise, I don't want anything to do with your leg.) Try this idea. If you don't like it, you get your money back, along with your frustration, and your shortness of breath from lack of exercise.

Change of subject (and a possible reduction of your mental pain): If you have been experiencing a bad run of cards, don't feel like the Lone Ranger. Several friends have reported long streaks of "bad" cards. (One tells of a long bad streak.) I can recall my own long runs of bad cards. One such run was so bad that I was actually thankful for how really bad the cards were, because they couldn't cost me anything. I had no bad-beat stories. To get beat, you have to play – and I was folding, folding, folding.

I phoned a poker-playing friend who deals in statistical probability to discuss these long dry spells when the poker gods seem to have forgotten how to spell your name. He said it is not at all unusual for cards to run bad for several months. It isn't the norm, and it's not something every player can expect, but it's not really unusual. Just keep playing your best game. The "good" cards will return – I promise.

More mistakes I've seen too many times at the poker table: Not knowing the value of a poker hand; not just "what beats what," but what the value of a given hand is in the game you are playing at the moment. Poker hands have no value; players give value to poker hands.

Lack of emotional control. How many times have you seen a player reraise a pot, not because of the value of his hand or out of strategic considerations, but because he has been raised by someone he dislikes. (For some reason, I see this mostly in hold'em games.) Keep your head and play the game the way you know it should be played. Don't go gunning for enemies. And if you take a bad beat, make it OK, put it behind you, and play the next hand the best way you know how. If you can't put it behind you, leave the table until you can. Don't play angry!

Lack of optimism. Do you know you're going to win when you sit down at a poker table? If not, why are you sitting down? To pass the time of day? Because there is nothing on television? Or, do you just feel like gambling? Gain confidence in your game or go find a sadist to beat on you. It will be cheaper.

Lack of observation. Study other players. Study them. How do you know what to expect of them if you don't know anything about them. As my friend Tom McEvoy has drummed into my head so many times, "There is no substitute for knowledge of your opponents."

I told you you'd love the fried zucchini. Put some in your pocket to munch on the way home while I catch a nap. And kill the light on your way out.

Roy West, author of the bestseller 7 Card Stud, the Complete Course in Winning (available from Card Player), continues working on a hold'em curriculum in Las Vegas for both tourists and locals. Ladies are welcome. Get Roy's toll-free 800 number from his ad on Call 1-800-548-6177 Ext. 03.