F is for Fabulous, Fancy, Fun,

Could someone give me an arm to steady myself as I step up, yet again, onto my soapbox? I must take issue with a column that was written in issue No. 8 by Thomas Keller titled "Deal Me the – – – – In." In that column, Keller wrote that he does not like the World Poker Tour's no-swearing rule (it is actually Commerce Casino's rule, not the WPT's rule), and thinks it is unnecessary. I received more mail about his column that week than I did about my own. I thought perhaps our e-mail addresses got crossed, as they are so similar … Not!

I received mail mostly from middle-aged (yes, like me) people who couldn't believe that such a nice young man as Thomas would condone players being allowed to use the F word at the table. I wrote to Thomas and forwarded him some of the mail I received. Thomas was kind enough to contact me and we had a brief discussion about his column, but the end result was that we agreed to disagree. I respect Thomas and don't mean to hammer him in this column, far from it. What I would hope to do is point out to such a fine, young, and gifted gentleman that the noprofanity rule (specifically the no-"F" rule) is one that many of us applaud. I like to enjoy my limited time at the poker table and do not want to be subjected to rude tirades and profanity. Judging from the e-mail I received about Thomas' column, I think the majority of players agree with me. If you condone behavior that runs off players, how does that benefit the game? I personally believe that well known poker players should be held to a higher standard and should try to be role models to the poker community. For example, I think that if I act improperly at the table, I should be given a penalty, whereas a novice who did the same thing might be let off with a warning.

One letter I got was from a cruise customer and personal friend of mine. He and his wife live in Seattle and love to travel with us, in part due to the friendly nature of our cruise games and the zero-tolerance policy we have for bad behavior or language. His name is Don Logerwell, and part of his letter stated:

"Thomas Keller's column in the April 27 issue regarding the use of the f* word on the poker table really bothered me. As you know, my wife enjoys playing poker and we travel on land and on cruises to play where we can find a pleasant, congenial, and smoke-free environment. It upsets me when players use the f* word in every other phrase: 'what an f*ing card'; 'this f*ing dealer'; 'I hate this f*ing game'; and, not infrequently, 'f* you' to another player. I feel obliged to ask them to refrain from using such language in my wife's presence, and I resent having to be confrontational when all I expect is some simple common courtesy and respect – if not for me, for her.

"It is not an answer, as Thomas suggests, to put the burden on the dealers to decide what is offensive and what is permissible. Rules are best enforced when they are clear and straightforward. Poker is, as everyone knows, growing at phenomenal rates, but we need to ensure that the game and the places where it is played are all-inclusive. And that includes those, like my wife and me, who find such language offensive in the presence of, dare I use the term, ladies.

"If there are those, like Mr. Keller and Phil Hellmuth, who apparently believe they have some right to use profanity in their public speech, I suggest that they petition cardrooms and casinos for permission to do so, providing they post a warning sign: 'We allow frequent and indiscriminate use of profanity in this cardroom.' I dare say that few cardrooms would accept that invitation."

Another letter I got was from Dennis Oehring. Choosing which paragraphs of his long, well-written letter to share was tough, but his letter opened with these morsels:

"I just finished reading a column in Card Player magazine written by the young and very talented Thomas Keller, a 24-year-old professional player who has become a regular contributor to this fine publication. The title of the column was 'Deal Me the – – – -In!' and it dealt with the use of profanity – in particular, the 'f' word – during a recent WPT event. And much like Mike Sexton disagreed with a previous column that Keller wrote regarding his views on tournament prize money distribution, I disagree with many of the viewpoints expressed by Keller in this column, and want to share my thoughts on them with you, not only as a loyal reader, but also as a player and freelance writer.

"In reading the column, I found it interesting, for reasons I'll go into in a moment, that one of Card Player's own contributors, the notorious Phil Hellmuth, was the object and inspiration for Keller's column. While playing at the WPT-sponsored L.A. Poker Classic at Commerce Casino, instructions were given to all players prior to the first hand being dealt regarding the penalties that would be invoked should a player use the 'f' word during play. These penalties involved being led away from the table and not being allowed to participate in play until a certain period of time had elapsed, much as a hockey player who commits an infraction would be sent to the penalty box until his penalty time had been served. It was also stated at this time that repeated offenses would elicit even longer penalties. When I read this, I was glad to learn that Commerce Casino took the issue of using profanity and abusive language in this event seriously, and in my mind I applauded this move.

"By arriving late and missing the instructions, and because the dealer did what she was supposed to do, Hellmuth's first utterance of the 'f' word resulted in him receiving a 10-minute penalty, which came as a surprise to him, as he was oblivious to the rule. According to Keller, once Hellmuth returned, and in defiance of the penalty and any no-swearing rules in general, he calmly uttered the phrase that was the title of Keller's column, resulting in him receiving an additional 20-minute penalty. Keller mentioned that Hellmuth was again surprised because the penalty was twice as long this time as it was the first time. Well, Phil, had you been on time in the first place, you wouldn't have been surprised at all."

Please help a middle-aged prude off her soapbox yet again. There are so many wonderfully talented young, middle-aged, and older players out there who can get through an entire day without dropping the F bomb. Why can't some of the pros? Class dismissed.