I was appalled to read that the normally rational Mike O'Malley agreed with the "F-Bomb" rule, and irate to read that reader comments hadn't dissuaded him from persisting in the obvious folly. There are three reasons why this rule is bad: First, it is totally irrational to single out this one specific word for punishment. Second, dealers and floormen have a lot of important duties to attend to (many of which are often not being performed properly or consistently) without adding another difficult rule that they must enforce. And third, it is enforced inconsistently or selectively. Let's look at these three arguments.
1.
Profanity has lost the ability to shock us. Anyone who reads modern literature (including
Nobel and
Pulitzer Prize winners), goes to the movies (including
Academy Award winners), watches television, listens to talk radio, or listens to contemporary music (including
Grammy winners) is constantly exposed to words that would have been considered shocking 50 years ago. (At that time, you had to smuggle James Joyce's
Ulysses into the country; now, graduate students may spend a whole term on it.) The F-word is one of the most ubiquitous. It is used in a number of innocuous contexts. Without going into a lot of examples, suffice it to say that many strong expressions of surprise or dismay include it. None of these expressions is intended to be abusive or shocking, and no rational American adult pays any particular attention to them. When I showed this column to a friend, he commented, "Except the a--holes who make up the rules for poker tournaments."
This is not a defense of abusive or threatening language. If someone tells a female dealer who has just dealt his opponent a one-out winner, that she is a 'miserable b----, penalize him! If I check-raise somebody and he says, "Do that again and I'll take your cards and shove 'em down your throat," penalize him! If someone uses a derogatory racial, ethnic, or religious expression (in a non-joking fashion), penalize him! But don't pick out the poor, innocuous F-word as the main cause for a penalty!
2.
Dealers and floormen have a lot more important things to do. Let's not add unnecessary distractions to these already overburdened individuals. I could probably fill a small book with more important duties that are being neglected or inconsistently performed. Here are a few:
• Dealers should focus on the action and the player whose turn it is to act. They must hear what that player says (call, raise, all in, and so on) and shouldn't be distracted by listening to what words other players select.
• Dealers should be paying attention to potential string bets and always call them. (It should never be a player's responsibility to point them out.)
• Dealers should be watching who is in his seat or on a cellphone as cards are dealt.
• Floormen need to post table-break order and follow what they have posted.
• Increases in antes and blinds should be announced and tables checked for compliance.
• Dealers should follow a consistent procedure for announcing bets and raises. (Some say raise and others state an amount.)
• All dealers should follow the same procedure for shuffling, cutting, pulling in antes, changing decks, and so on.
• All dealers should follow a consistent procedure for handling the situation in which a card may have flashed. (Most won't admit that it could have been seen, and asking a player if he saw it isn't the answer.)
• Bad (accidentally scratched, bent, or marked) cards should be spotted, changed, and destroyed.
I could go on at greater length, but you get the idea. They have a lot of very important things to do. Let them do them. Don't distract them.
3.
The F-Word penalty is randomly enforced and given selectively. Many dealers deal in live games as well as tournaments. (A tournament director in California once told me that the rule was to "protect her dealers." Please! Even if they live in a complete vacuum aside from dealing poker, they will hear this word in every live game they deal. Protect them from abuse, not one relatively common word. ) How do you think they feel about calling a penalty on a big tipper? Does a male dealer call it on a cute girl? How about a player who just gave the dealer a hard time about some procedure? How about an obnoxious guy who doesn't tip much? Some dealers think it is a stupid rule and never call it, while others like to show off their power by calling it at every opportunity. I have been at tables where a variety of players have used it without a penalty, and then one is suddenly called.
O'Malley even goes so far as to say that players should "rat" each other out. Again, enforcement of rules and penalties should not be left to the players. (I am always surprised when a dealer doesn't call an obvious string bet, leaving it to a player to protest.) If left to the players, the experts and the obnoxious will always have penalties called against them (to get them away from the table). Bad players will be allowed to stay at the table and lose their money.
Should it be invoked only when the word is clearly stated to the whole table? One player was penalized for using it during a break. What if it is used in a whispered aside to a friend or another player? What if someone says "fook," or "freak," or "duck," or something else that is close or heavily accented?
There is also a vast difference in the severity of a 10-minute penalty in the first round of a tournament (small blinds, no antes, and 10-handed) and the same penalty at the final table of a tournament (huge blinds and antes, and often shorthanded). If you must have a penalty, at least make it one big blind or some set percentage of a player's chips. Perhaps a better plan would be a small fine that goes to some charity or is spent on player entertainment.
