A Funny Thing Happened at the World Series

I spent many hours playing poker during the World Series of Poker. Here are a few funny tidbits that made me chuckle while I was at the Rio.



• While I was playing $75-$150 Omaha eight-or-better, Michael Gracz was in the game and someone asked, "Can you buy the button?"



Michael instantly replied, "This is America; you can buy anything."



• Doyle Brunson's cellphone rang at the final table of the H.O.R.S.E. event; the ring tone on his phone is The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.



• While I was playing in a side game, one of my opponents ordered a cocktail. The cocktail waitress promptly asked to check his ID. Hmm, if he wasn't old enough to drink, I was wondering why he would be able to play poker.



• In the $1,500 no-limit hold'em event, a novice player made a bet and got called. There were three hearts on the board. He declared his hand as "pocket hearts."



• A huge crowd was watching one of the side games, so I snuck a peek to see what the excitement was all about. It was a $25-$50 no-limit hold'em game with Chris Moneymaker, Joe Hachem, and Sam Farha participating. No wonder the lineup drew a crowd.



• Someone approached a big-name poker player and said, "Hello, do you remember a hand we played together about 10 years ago? You had aces and I had kings, and I put a bad beat on you."



The player responded, "I have a bad memory. The only thing I retain these days is water."



• I sat next to Perry Friedman in the $3,000 Omaha eight-or-better event. Perry is extremely entertaining. During the tournament announcements, the tournament director warned that there would be a penalty given to anyone using the F-word.



Perry immediately asked, "What's wrong with saying fold?"



• Another quote from Perry Friedman: "I'm the opposite of Phil Hellmuth. If it wasn't for luck, I'd never win a tournament."



• More philosophy from Perry Friedman: "I have zero tolerance for zero-tolerance rules."



• Comments overheard on the rail:



"I didn't know Phil Gordon is so tall."



"Daniel's much cuter in person than on television."



"What's the puck (dealer button) doing on the table?"



"Carlos Mortensen is the best-looking poker player in the world."



"Are they playing for real money?"



"There's Doyle Brunson; he has 26 gold bracelets."



• I love to listen to the know-it-all railbird. Here's a real conversation being carried on behind me on the rail:

"How long does the tournament last?"



"Oh, it depends; sometimes they play for 48 hours straight. The players never get to take a break. After 48 hours, they just split the money if there isn't a winner."



• Overheard at the green felt: "I've been making lots of pairs; unfortunately, I'm playing razz." (Razz is a seven-card low game.)



• There were lots of amusing T-shirts, with sayings such as:

"Friends don't let friends play bad cards."



"Our shirts will not make you a winning player … we make shirts, not miracles."



"Is that your poker face? I thought you were mooning me."



"Degenerate gambler"



"Inside every poker genius is a donkey trying to get out."



"F*%# the penalty box."



"I lost my ace, can I have yours?"



This didn't happen at the Rio, but I'll end this column with one of my favorite poker stories. My good friend Ed Galvin told me a funny tale involving a poker tournament he recently played. When he got down to heads up, his opponent asked him if he wanted to make a deal. Ed replied that he would consider it, and asked what he had in mind. His opponent then offered him a settlement that would net Ed less than second-place money. I guess you can figure out what Ed's answer was.



Now, let's play poker.



Linda is available to host poker tournaments, seminars, and charity events. You can contact her through her websites at http://www.cardplayercruises.com/ or http://www.lindapoker.com/.