Paddy's Corner

Editor's note: This column appeared in the December 2006 issue of Card Player Europe.

I have just come back from playing in and commentating on the 888.com UK Poker Open. As usual, it turned out to be one of the highlights of the year. Maybe it's because all the celebrities, pros, Internet qualifiers, 888 staff, and Matchroom people are stranded out at a hotel in the middle of nowhere, and that creates the atmosphere. But, as usual, it was a laugh from start to finish with Tournament Director Mad Marty Wilson leading the charge. The best laugh in the event was provided by Marty himself. One day after about an hour's play, Irish World Series of Poker star John Magill was absolutely dominating his heat and had more than 200,000 in chips out of 600,000 in play. Magill's nearest challenger had 101,000. Some guy managed to cut through a power cable (he was probably Irish), and play was suspended for about an hour until they solved the problem. The players were seated again at the table and Marty kept a straight face as he explained to John Magill that they'd lost all the tape when the power cut, so he'd have to hand back over 100,000 so that everybody could have his starting stack again. I'd really like to say what Magill's response to this was, but it's not printable. Marty kept the pot boiling by saying he thought John was being a little unreasonable, as all of the other players were in agreement. After a few more expletives from Magill, he finally worked out that this was just another Wilson windup. You can put a suit on, but that doesn't cover a man's natural instincts.

Saturday was a day off, but not for Mad Marty Wilson. He headed down from Maidstone looking for something to do, and found a perfect platform for his talents that have earned him his nickname. Some poor guy was dressed like the Michelin man outside the local burger joint, distributing vouchers that entitled a customer to a free portion of french fries if he purchased the special burger. This mightn't look like very much to anyone else, but it was like mother's milk to Mad Marty. Wilson got his voucher, then another one, and another one. The guy was getting a little distressed and was trying to explain that it was strictly one voucher per customer. Marty took umbrage at being limited to the same ration as an ordinary customer, and almost drove the guy nuts asking questions and generally making his life misery. After half an hour of entertaining himself in this fashion, Wilson produced a master stroke. He enlisted the aid of Big John from graphics and persuaded him to go and claim a voucher while pretending not to be a friend of Marty's. No sooner had the guy handed Big John his prize, when Wilson nipped in, grabbed it, and legged it up the main shopping road in Maidstone, with a supposedly very angry Big John in hot pursuit. This might explain how Marty got his nickname, but not how he got the job as tournament director.

While in Maidstone, I ran into Jim Traynor, better known as JT, who used to frequent the Dublin poker games in the late 1980s. We were reminiscing about some of the great characters who used to frequent Terry Rogers' Eccentric Club, and we got to talking about Irish gambling legend Big Jim Delaney. In the early '90s, Big Jim was on as bad a run as was possible. Every time you heard a sporting commentator say that this was one of the biggest upsets in history, you could bet the farm that Delaney had the unbeatable favorite as the last leg of an accumulator. He never missed one. Throughout this series of disasters, the one thing Big Jim didn't lose was his marvelous sense of humor. Having lost his money very unluckily one night, he was sitting at a table at the old Jackpot Club in Dublin. Surrounded by the dealers who were on break, Big Jim put the following proposition to them: You died and were offered the following proposition while in the interview room waiting to discuss your future with St. Peter. You can go back on earth as anybody or anything you like. Big Jim asked his audience what they'd choose. They came up with the usual selections of top pro poker player, billionaire, rock star, and professional footballer. Finally, when they'd all had their go, one of them asked Big Jim what he'd choose. This is what Big Jim was waiting for. He said, "I'd tell them, 'To tell you the truth, I'd rather not go back at all.'" Gambling can do that to a man.

Read Padraig Parkinson's World Series of Poker blog at http://www.888.com/poker/wsop.