As is the case with all sports, poker has acquired some quite colourful terminology. Some phrases have fallen by the wayside as the popularity of particular games has waxed and waned, whilst others look like they're here for the long haul. Most of the following definitions apply almost exclusively to England and Ireland.
Boots: Aces, and it comes from "bootlaces.''
Bubble: You would be forgiven for thinking that a "Bubble'' must have something to do with finishing in a tournament in that worst of all places - just outside the money - but, in fact, in London, a Bubble refers to a Greek. Why? Well, it comes from rhyming Cockney slang "bubble and squeak," which is an Irish dish of leftover cabbage and potatoes fried with onions; very yummy.
Fish: We all know what a "fish" is, and in Paris he's called a "pigeon." It's the same thing all over the world - the bottom rung of the food chain. It's sometimes seen online as <"(((((((><.
Goolie: If you're in the Victoria and announce to your mates that you've done your "goolies,'' they will know that you've lost a chunk of money (I'm being polite). Goolie not only refers to an important part of the male anatomy, but also to the £1,000 chip used in that cardroom; hence, doing your goolies is not to be recommended under any circumstance, as it's frequently fatal and certainly painful! I'm not sure what the origins of this word are, but it sounds good.
Still in London: Carpet: £300, Monkey: £500, Pony: £25
Karabiner: Whilst playing in England, you may come across a "karabiner" at your table, in which case you'll need a pneumatic drill to extract funds from him; a "rock" by any other name.
Kibitzer: I'm not sure if this is the German word for a particularly noisy bird or originally a Yiddish word meaning an onlooker who likes to give totally unsolicited advice; anyway, you know the type. They can't keep their opinions to themselves, especially when you've just lost a pot. They just have to point out how you could have won the pot or, at the very worst, lost a whole lot less. What's more, I'm sure they have nothing better to do than trawl cyberspace for tournament finals just so they can share their pennies' worth of advice with all and sundry.
Plonker: A loose player who's definitely challenged in the IQ department when it comes to playing poker, as he enjoys dumping his chips just for the hell of it. On the Internet, he would be affectionately called a "donkey."
You would have to cross the water to the Emerald Isle to find the next terms of endearment:
Diesel: In Dublin speak, one five-card draw aficionado used to say, "Dees'll do" when standing pat, and henceforth, drawing no more cards came to be known as "diesel."Judge Duffy: A set of tens in draw poker; named after the judge whose favourite sentence was 30 days.
Plumber: A "plumber" at your table means you will get looked up till the cows come home, just to keep you honest. They're calling stations, in other words.
Rats and Mice: Any player declaring this hand in a five-card draw game had the lowest two pair possible; that is, deuces and treys.
Standy Upper: The last hand of the night, for which everyone stands up. That's probably so that the winners can try to make a hasty getaway and the losers can try to keep up with them in order to beg and borrow.
And what about those symbols on the Net, what on earth do they mean?
:) or :-) means a smile and :( or :-( is a frown
(_x_) is kiss my a--
(_E=mc2_) is smart a--
As for the other online symbols, I have absolutely no idea, but I'm still working on them. Anyone who has a clue is more than welcome to contact me with the relevant explanations. In fact, it would be interesting to compile a pocket poker dictionary, spanning all the countries. That way, when playing on foreign turf, you could quickly ascertain whether you were being insulted or not. Of course, it might be best not to know!
