Humility is to make a right estimate of oneself. - Harry S. Truman
Everybody knows that it takes a lot of ego to be a winning poker player. But not so many know that it also takes humility to go beyond winning to greatness. It's hard to be humble when you know you're good - but it's essential to conquering the game. Ego breeds confidence that can become arrogance. But to be a great player, your ego, confidence, and arrogance must be tempered with genuine humility.
I have been accused - perhaps somewhat correctly - of seeming so confident at the poker table that it borders a little on arrogance. I also have been accused - wrongly, in my opinion - of being condescending. Confidence does not imply condescension; indeed, they are somewhat opposites, as condescension is more often than not a product of insecurity. My poker arrogance, though, comes from knowing how good I am. I think that is an important part of a winning player's psyche. If you don't believe in your heart that you can beat the hell out of the table, why on earth are you sitting down?
But … I also know for sure that I don't even begin to know it all, nor think I am the best. I never presume that I will own a table because of my abilities. I know that every poker session requires my focus and attention, that I must study and learn my opponents. I never stop trying to get better - which means that I know how good I'm not.
The best players have genuine humility. It's not the kind of feigned humility that one sees so often in professional sports, but a genuine understanding that no matter how good you are - or think you are - there is somebody better. Well, that's unless you're Tiger. And no matter how good your game is, you can improve it. Even Tiger can. This humility is particularly absent in many of the brash young players attacking the game today.
My buddy John often makes the distinction between two types of arrogance: arrogance that comes from excellence - knowing honestly and unabashedly how good you are, and the arrogance of ignorance - thinking you're good, but having no clue that you're really not. In both life and poker, arrogance abounds - but far and away the majority of arrogance is of the ignorant type!
A winning poker player needs the humility of honestly understanding his limitations. If you do not recognize your limitations, you will never overcome them.
As a poker player, that means that today, you are as good as you're ever going to be. Your game is as good as it's going to get. You're never going to get any better, because you think you know it all.
Even if you're pretty good, good enough in your own estimation, those who recognize that they have room to improve will pass you by. This in turn means that your edge against them is going to shrink, because they have humility, and are going to get better while you do not. Your edge against the field as a whole will shrink, and maybe even disappear altogether - because you thought you were hot stuff and your ego wouldn't allow you to admit to yourself that you needed to learn and grow to get better.
Confidence can develop into arrogance, then condescension; complacency tends to set in. Condescending players don't think they have to try as hard to beat their "inferiors." They quit working on their game and tend to play on "autopilot," making reactive plays to their first thought - which, in their self-delusions, they always presume to be the best thought - rather than thinking through situations. As a general rule, ignorantly arrogant players tend to be overly aggressive, making them prime targets for inducing bluffs and trap plays, which can cost them big bucks. Frustration seeps into these players' minds when their results are not up to their expectations; the perceived injustice of it all often puts them on tilt. They justify their inferior results by attributing them to luck, or that their "donkey" opponents made bad plays. Many play far below their potential for years without ever understanding that just by realizing that they need to improve and work on their games, they can make their results better.
One result of ignorant arrogance and the absence of humility in many brash players is a tendency to belittle their opposition, both in their minds and in their behaviors while playing. This ridiculous attitude compounds negative consequences. You need humility to respect your opponents, to keep yourself competing hard, to keep yourself working hard both at and away from the table, and to keep growing your game. And running off players is the worst play in poker!
I've often stated that maintaining a quality poker game is much harder than learning a quality game. Self-reflection is a key to maintaining your game. As Harry S. Truman said, you must make a "right estimate" of yourself. This estimate isn't based on short-term results, either positive or negative. Instead, focus on the quality of your decisions.
Quality decisions in both life and poker are made without input from ego or emotions. Egos and emotions cloud clear thinking, alter your perspective, and make you base your judgments on feelings rather than facts. Take a look at your decision-making process, review your decisions, and be honest with yourself. Are you thinking things through logically? Can you separate your emotions from your decisions? Are you confident when sitting at the poker table? Does your ego lead you to complacency? Do you get paranoid when things are not going well? Do you justify your results in an unrealistic way? And, most importantly, are you using every possible minute at the poker table to learn something about your opponents and the game?
Every time I get a little full of myself in regard to how good I am, I see some kid who reminds me of myself when I was younger - full of heart and fire, and playing the game hard and studying it with everything he has. I know that kid's got what I don't anymore - an all-consuming passion for the game - and he's going to keep on getting better. And I know that if I want to continue winning, I have to keep on working and learning to stay ahead of him.
Mahatma Gandhi once said, "It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err." If you think you're wise, and you think you're strong, you need to keep this in mind.
And if, like me, you sometimes need a lesson in humility, you can try what I do - play 18 holes of golf. That's always enough to remind me of how good I'm not!
Roy Cooke has played winning professional poker since 1972, and has been a Card Player columnist since 1992. He serves as a freelance consultant to the I-poker industry and has a successful Las Vegas real estate brokerage. His poker books are available from www.conjelco.com/cooke - most recently, The Home Poker Handbook. His website is www.roycooke.com.
