Hi. Come on in. It's Christmas time and I haven't received my Christmas greeting from Annette Funicello yet. It's probably hung up in the rush of mail at this time of year. Let's relax, munch some sugar cookies, and sip eggnog. (I make mine like Grandma taught me, with genuine nog from "the old country.")
Here are some thoughts on having a relaxed mind at the poker table. First, let's talk about your peace of mind, which is worth money to you, and then, your ego, which can be a dangerous trap for you and your bankroll, and money to your opponents.
When you're upset or moody, for whatever reason, your mind is less able to think through the variables to put together your best strategy. The best state of mind in which to play poker is calm and relaxed. That's when you play your best game.
Your peace of mind, and your frustration, are each a matter of perception, and therefore are a matter of choice - your choice. Here's an example: It's rather frustrating to start a hold'em hand with two large spades and then have the flop come with three raggedy hearts in a six-way pot. But here's another way of looking at it that I find helpful in releasing tension. It's just a matter of changing my perception. If the hand is going to be broken off, it's much better to have it broken off on the flop, when I have a minimum amount invested, than to have it die on the river after I've invested several bets and ended up with almost zero chance of any financial recovery.
Here's some historical information that I can adapt and have it apply to your ego. In the early days of our Western frontier, the town marshal often put a sign at the saloon entrance, telling the cowboys to check their guns at the door and not bring them inside. I think every poker room should have such a sign for your ego:
Leave it out in the parking lot.
Whether you are new to our beloved game of poker or a veteran of many years of play, know that if you get your ego involved in the game, you stand to lose some pride - and a lot of money. Playing winning poker requires calm, rational thinking. If you get into a personality conflict with another player, you will, of course, be convinced of the rightness of your position and the wrongness of his. Your next thought will probably be that you're going to show that so-and-so something about playing poker. That would be an incorrect thought.
You can't teach that so-and-so his "lesson" unless you get into a pot with him, so you'll be looking for reasons to play against him rather than selecting solid hands that have a chance to win against whomever you play. That means you'll probably be taking the worst of it, and that means you'll probably lose.
If you take a bad beat, or another player questions your poker-playing abilities, or you are upset in any way,
let it roll off. Play the next hand the best way that you know how. If you can't let it roll off, get up and take a walk. Cool off. Regain your peace of mind. After all, as I tell my students, you don't go to the poker game to quarrel. Your objective is to win money.
Let the rational part of your thinking get you through being upset as quickly as you can. You'll probably be muttering to yourself in rather strong terms about what it is that has you upset. But, instead, tell yourself that as soon as you regain your composure, you'll be back at the table calm and relaxed and playing your best game. Remind yourself that peace is a choice, and that you'd rather have peace than be upset. Know that there is another way of looking at the situation. Ask yourself how an impartial, calm observer would look at it. Then, ask your mind to look at it the same way.
Which do you think is better for your bankroll - staying upset and playing badly, or shifting your perception, regaining your composure, and playing with a clear mind? It's your choice. The real beauty of this process is that the more you apply it, the better and more quickly it works.
Stay calm and focused. If need be, there'll be plenty of time to be ticked off after the game.
Now I tire and require repose. Take a pocketful of cookies for your breakfast and kill the light on your way out.
Roy West, poker author, continues giving his successful poker lessons in Las Vegas for tourists and locals. Ladies are welcome.
