Live for Today, Dream for Tomorrow, Play the Next Hand

It was $100 to go six-handed in a late-night $20-$40 limit hold’em game, and I held pocket kings. The flop came K 9 3. Flops don’t get much better than that for K-K. Somehow, it seemed that everybody had a piece of it; I managed to get in only one raise, as the field capped it.

We took it to the turn five-handed. Anything but an ace or a 9, I prayed to the poker gods; I wanted something low. My prayer was answered with the 4, not even a backdoor-flush hookup. It went to three bets, and I knew that I was up against a pair of aces and a set of nines or threes. I wasn’t sure where the other players were — perhaps Q-J, J-10, or something like that, and maybe even K-9 or A-9.

The 6 looked like a good river card — that is, until the passive tourist who had called all the way led into the field. We all made crying calls. He turned over the 7 5 for the straight, and scooped a monster pot with a big dumb grin on his face.

A friend to my right — who had the set of nines — looked at me, shrugged, and said, “What can you do?”

I smiled and responded, “Just play the next hand.”

The big picture is important. Poker is not your life; it’s part of your life.

And in order to succeed in poker, other things in your life have to be right. Exercise and recreation are important, for example, and you must have some kind of stability in your home life. If things in your life are screwed up, they affect your game. And, of course, when your game is negatively affected, it affects your life. To be a winning player — and a winning human — you have to find a perspective that keeps you balanced, keeps you sane. You need a worldview that makes sense.

Many (perhaps most?) people do just what is good enough to get by. It would seem, almost by definition, that good enough is indeed good enough. But is it, really? Isn’t good enough settling? Isn’t it mere adequacy?

Good enough is far superior to not good enough, but there’s an entire realm that’s better than good enough, where I believe you want to live your life. But it takes effort on your part, because good enough — taking the road of least resistance — certainly is the easy way.

My good friend John Bond and I have pondered and argued a life philosophy late into many nights while walking along Florida beaches, sitting in Vegas coffee shops, and watching twilight melt into dawn on California piers. John showed me the Categorical Imperative, developed by Immanuel Kant: What applies to oneself must apply to everyone else, unconditionally. You can’t hold others to a higher standard than you hold yourself. I like that. I hear many poker players complain about someone whining at the table, then five minutes later, they are moaning about their own bad beats.

John and I have adopted personal rules to get us through every day, to keep us balanced … well, as balanced as John can get — as he tends to live on the edge!

These “Life Rules” keep me beyond good enough, and keep my poker game and life in perspective.

It’s important to do what you say you will do.

Personal loyalty is the highest ethical imperative. Personal integrity is a close second.

There are only two kinds of problems — those about which you can do something, and those about which you can’t.

Of the problems about which you can do something, there are only two kinds — those that are worth the effort and those that aren’t.

Of those for which it is worth doing something, there are only two kinds — those about which you will do something, and those about which you won’t.

Save your emotional energy for those things about which you can and will do something.

All other things being equal, make every decision in your life such that it gives you more choices rather than fewer.

Make every minute the best that it can be, while still planning for the long term — as you could get hit by a truck tomorrow or live to be 100. Neither is likely, but either is possible. James Dean may have verbalized this better than anyone: “Dream as if you’ll live forever; live as if you’ll die tomorrow.”

You rarely regret what you did as much as what you didn’t do — so when in doubt, do it.

Always have a Plan B … and a Plan C … and a Plan Z.

It never matters whose fault it is. You can learn from it, of course, but the important issues are what to do and where to go from here. Blame is a null concept.

You can never tell anyone what he should do. The best that you can do is give your honest advice and let him make his own decisions. And as much as you may disagree with those decisions, you have to respect his right to make them, even (especially?) when you think they’re wrong. And if you care about him, stand by him, regardless.

You are responsible for all of the consequences of your actions, even the unforeseen ones. Only you are responsible for the consequences of your actions. And you’re responsible for only the consequences of your own actions.

Nobody makes you angry, sad, hurt, happy, or anything else. How you feel is up to you.

The right thing to do is rarely an absolute, as it always depends on the situation, so make sure that you understand the situation. It’s just like poker.

There are smaller but very important thoughts encompassed in this worldview: People are going to change, but they’re not going to change for you; don’t say anything about somebody if you wouldn’t say it to him; be generous in all things; don’t whine or complain; give blood; be an organ donor; know CPR; vote against incumbents; recycle; and never say, “I told you so” — to yourself or anybody else. One of John’s favorite authors (Ursula LeGuin) says, “Nobody who says I told you so is or ever will be a hero.” And she’s right.

Our personal philosophy doesn’t rank up there with any of the great -isms in complexity, breadth, or depth. It’s simple. It works. It gets me through the day, week, month, year — my life. It’s comprised of simple ideas and thoughts that you might read in greeting cards — but they work for me. I like understanding these things and living this way. I like people who understand these things and live this way, even if they haven’t systematized it as I have.

I lost $700 in the session in which my set of kings was snapped. That river card was the difference in my day. It could have been an ace, a 9, or another card that beat me — or a blank.

But it didn’t make any real difference in my life. My expectation for the week, month, and year was unaffected. The next day, I played with my daughter, worked on my golf swing, closed a real-estate deal, and had a nice dinner with my wife.

At no time did I settle for good enough. I’d been true to my friends and to myself. I hadn’t wasted a bit of myself worrying about anything about which I couldn’t do something.

I had lived a little for today, and dreamed a little for tomorrow.

And — as always — I was ready to play the next hand.

Roy Cooke’s Card Player column has appeared since 1992. A successful Las Vegas real estate broker since 1990, his website is www.roycooke.com. To inquire regarding real-estate matters — including purchase, sale, or mortgage — call (702) 396-6575. Roy’s longtime collaborator John Bond’s new McKool Poker Mystery, Trapped, appears in Florida Heat Wave: http://tyrusbooks.com/books/FH.htm. John’s website is www.johnbondwriting.com.