More Questions From Russia

Readers of Russian translations of my books, Your Worst Poker Enemy and Your Best Poker Friend, had some questions, and the publisher translated them for this Q&A column.

Question: Losing streaks make me feel like a big failure. How can I overcome this feeling?

Answer: Become more realistic about poker, and don’t take it too seriously.

1. Losing is an unavoidable part of poker (and life). Even great players lose about one-third of the time, and they accept that losing streaks are just part of the game.

2. If you can’t accept poker as it is, including all of its frustrations, don’t play.

3. Learning how to handle losses is one of poker’s most valuable lessons. David Sklansky and I included this lesson in “Poker is Good for You,” the appendix of our new book, DUCY? (It stands for “Do You See Why?”)

4. Poker is a game, not your life. DUCY? contains a chapter titled “The Acceleration Effect,” which recommends dealing with disappointments by having “many irons in the fire.” If you have many activities, successes in some will overcome your negative feelings about poker losses. Conversely, if you let poker dominate your life and feelings, you’ll always be on an emotional roller coaster. The mood swings can damage more important parts of your life, such as your work and personal relationships.

Q: I began playing poker two years ago, and I’m not strong at it. When I play mainly with my friends, my results are OK, but I lose when I play online. Why?

A: First, in online games, the rake costs so much that nearly everyone loses. Second, online players are generally stronger than brick-and-mortar casino players, who are probably better than your friends. Many online games even have pros who play multiple tables simultaneously (and often get rakeback). Combining a rake and tougher competition virtually guarantees disappointing results. Until your skills improve, play mostly or only with your friends.

Q: Why do I take every raise as bullying, and reply by reraising with garbage? Could it be because I’m just a girl?

A: Only a few men bully females, but you seem to take every raise personally. As I wrote in Poker Winners Are Different, winners depersonalize conflict. Poker is intrinsically adversarial. We want to take each other’s money. Raising is an essential poker weapon, and it’s not a personal attack. It’s just the way the game is played.

Because you take raises personally, you respond emotionally and reraise with
garbage. You don’t get even by giving bullies your money. You get even by taking their money, and your gender can help you. Some books and articles for female players can help you to beat men who underestimate or bully you. Google “poker for women.”

And stop thinking, “I’m just a girl.” Some excellent pros are female, including my friends Linda Johnson and Jan Fisher. They win because they stay cool and play very well. If I ever said, “You’re just a girl,” they would laugh at me (or punch me).

Q: My friends and I play $22 sit-and-gos (SNGs) and multitable tournaments. Everything was going great. We learned to play, developed ourselves, and won some money. But one of us took a bad beat, and it spread to all of us. We have had one bad beat after another, and have gone on tilt. Now we win one in 30 SNGs. We were up earlier, but now we’re down. This situation has continued for three weeks. Have you studied “collective tilt”?

A: No, but I can make some recommendations. First, accept that there is no such thing as an “epidemic” of bad beats. The cards are always random. Whether you or your friends lost or won the last 10 hands or SNGs has no effect on your cards now.

Second, don’t complain or listen to other people’s complaints about bad luck. When you talk about your bad beats, you mutually reinforce self-defeating feelings. Bad beats are not contagious, but feelings are. Believing, “We’re unlucky,” reduces everyone’s confidence, causing all of you to play tentative, timid poker. You then create a vicious cycle: Your timid play makes you lose, reinforcing the belief that you’re unlucky, making you play more timidly, and so on.

Q: I’m a new player and often face this situation in tournaments: I am almost into the money, and play a hand like A-Q, A-10, or K-J. The flop doesn’t help, and my continuation-bet is called by a big stack. He then forces me to go all in on the turn or river. I lose to a pair of tens, a set of sixes, or something like that. I can’t believe that his hand is stronger than mine. I think he is bluffing and bullying me. What would you advise?

A: Every hand that you listed is not that good. Doyle Brunson called them “Trouble Hands” (Super System 2, Page 614). Unless the conditions are right, don’t play them. When you play them, miss the flop, and your continuation-bet gets called, dump them, especially when you’re near the money and up against a big stack.

You wrote that you couldn’t believe that your opponent had a stronger hand than yours. Well, you’d better learn to believe it. You’re excessively afraid of being bluffed. Good players feast on people who feel that way.

Q: The most popular topic on Russian poker forums is: “How I was eaten by a fish.” And I often find myself in a fish’s jaws. How should I play against fish?

A: Americans whine as much as Russians do about being eaten by fish. Actually, “fish” is so poorly defined that many pros don’t use the word.

You probably mean, “How should I play against weak players?” Playing against them is frustrating, but you should win a lot more than you will against better players. Your results depend primarily on the difference between your skill and your opponents’ skills. The weaker they are, the more you should win.

However, you’ll do poorly until you stop thinking of “fish,” and start assessing opponents’ styles, strengths, and weaknesses, and then developing a strategy based on those assessments.

Conclusion: Some of these questions were rather unsophisticated. I’m not surprised, because we have been playing poker a lot longer than the Russians have. I’m glad that they asked these questions, and I hope that Card Player readers follow their example, as most Card Player columnists welcome all types of questions and comments.

Dr. Schoonmaker (alan[email protected]) is David Sklansky’s co-author of DUCY? He is the sole author of The Psychology of Poker, Your Worst Poker Enemy, Your Best Poker Friend, and Poker Winners Are Different._