Quips and Quotes From Poker Players

Over the last few years, I have heard poker players say a lot of bright, funny, insightful, and sometimes just plain dumb things. Hopefully in this column I have left out the dumb things and am passing on some of the others.

Al Krux: "This is the life that we have chosen." (He was speaking about playing poker professionally.)

Mike Caro: "I am a lucky player; a powerful winning force surrounds me."

Warren Karp: "Forget about a chip and a chair; give me a hand and I'll stand."

"The dealer gave me A-B-C-D, then put out P-O-O-P." (He was referring to Omaha eight-or-better.)

"For those of you who have gotten here without getting into an accident, you've met the skill level to play in today's limit hold'em tournament." (Warren's announcement to the players before starting a tournament.)

Robert Turner: "A person should gamble every day, because think of how bad it would be to walk around being lucky and not know it."

Benny Binion: "The only bad luck for a good gambler is bad health. Any other setbacks are temporary aggravation."

Freddie Gasperian: "To master poker and make it profitable, you must first master patience and discipline, as a lack of either is a sure disaster regardless of all other talents, or lucky streaks."

Rich Korbin: "All I know is, if the cards ever break even – I'm screwed."

Oklahoma Johnny Hale: "I never saw a poker player's money that I did not like."

"I sure have enjoyed playing with most of you."

"Gosh, it's great that Carol is still working."

John Juanda: "What are you going to do with all that money?"(He was speaking to someone who just won money in a tournament.)

Jan Fisher: "Just pack – we'll do the rest!"

Jack McClelland: "Take my advice and do as you please."

"To be a poker champion, you must have a strong bladder."

Scotty Nguyen: "You call, gonna be all over, baby." (This was Scotty's comment as Kevin McBride was trying to decide whether to call him on the last hand of the 1998 World Series of Poker.)

Syracuse Chris Tsiprailidis: "Playing good is overrated."

Frank Henderson: "Play like a champ. Win like a champ. Act like a champ."

Bonnie Damiano: "If it were easy, everyone would do it."

Joe E. Lewis: "I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around, I would have taken General Custer and given points."

Max Shapiro: "They say poker is a zero-sum game. It must be, because every time I play my sum ends up zero."

Steve Badger: "Besides lovemaking and singing in the shower, there aren't many human activities where there is a greater difference between a person's self-delusional ability and actual ability than in poker."

"Once you start thinking you have nothing left to learn, you have everything to learn."

Chuck Thompson: "It's easy to be a tough competitor and still be the kind of person with whom people love to compete."

"If you always start with the worst hand, you never have a bad-beat story to tell."

Al Morris: "I lost with the Wyoming Twins – Jackson Hole."

Vince Burgio: "I feel much closer to God today. I spent about five hours playing poker with a priest, Father Charles Glorioso, and a rabbi, Steve Kaufman."

"Be careful what you wish for, you just might not get it."

"If you're a competitive person and you commit yourself to something, you have no choice but to endure."

Sam Grizzle: "Where do they come from?"

David "Devilfish" Ulliott: "The two things you need to be successful in poker are, first, find the muck, and second, don't play your own money."

Chuck Humphrey: "Egotism is the anesthetic provided by nature to dull the pain of being a damn fool."

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you will be a mile away, and you will have his shoes."

Frank DiElsi: "Life is too long to play bad cards."

Mike Sexton: "One day a chump, the next day a champion. What a difference a day makes in tournament poker."

Tom McEvoy: "There is more to poker than life."

Men Nguyen: "Nice hand, sir."

John Bonetti: "Fuggetaboutit."

Andy Glazer: "The single greatest key to winning is knowing thy enemy – yourself."

For what it's worth …