The Bet I Couldn't Lose

I live in a seniors mobile home park in Carlsbad, California, that has a golf course adjoining it, just a few minutes from the card club where I play. A creek runs through the park and a big pond circles it. Wild mallard ducks swim in the pond and wait for food handouts from the residents; then at night they fly somewhere else to roost. These ducks fascinated me, so I started practicing the duck call that I used as a boy back in Texas to call them in to feed them. When I had perfected it, I started buying cracked corn 50 pounds at a time and going to the pond with a gallon bucket full of it. There might be only four ducks floating on the pond when I get there, but as soon as I start my quack-quack-quacking, they come flying to me in droves and land right at my feet, knowing that they're safe with me. A few of them even eat out of my hand.

I decided to use this "talent" of mine to have a little fun with Dick Davis, a golf buddy who is a retired basketball coach and plays poker with me at Ocean's Eleven. One day I needed a ride home from the club and asked Dick for a lift. On the way back to the park I said, "You know, Dick, I've been practicing a duck call."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Quack-quack-quack," I gave him a sample. "Pretty soon I'm gonna get it down pat. Down there where I live, there's a bunch of wild ducks in that creek and pond. Betcha I could call in 200 ducks within five minutes," I bragged, setting him up for a bet that I couldn't lose. Old habits die hard, they say.

"You've gotta be kidding!" he said in disbelief. "If that's true, you can damn sure bet me something on it."

"Well, what about $200? That's about a buck a duck – and if I don't call 200 ducks right to our feet within five minutes, you win."

"I've gotta see this," he answered. "You wanna bet more?"

"Nope, $200's good enough for me," I answered, letting him off easy.

We stopped by my garage and I picked up a gallon of cracked corn. When we got to the pond, there were seven or eight ducks and a few mud hens floating on it.

"Looks like I'm gonna lose this $200," I fibbed. "I don't see no ducks today."

"Yeah, I think I've got you this time, Cowboy," Dick said, trying to quit laughing at my outrageous proposition. "It's a good thing you didn't bet $500."

"I reckon so," I led him on, and started quacking in my best duck-call voice.

I'm telling you, it wasn't but two minutes before those big mallards started flying in by the drove! Some of them landed on the water and others landed right at our feet. Within three or four minutes, about 250 ducks surrounded us. I threw that cracked corn out to them and they started gulping it down as fast as kids eat Jello.

"That's the damndest thing I've ever seen!" Dick said, turning white as a sheet. "I'd have bet $1,000 that you couldn't call in that many ducks – hell, there weren't five ducks when we got here."

"Well, you'd have lost your thousand," I bragged. "I told you I've been practicing."

"It would've been worth it," he said.

"Dick, you're a good friend of mine, so I'm not gonna charge you the $200," I recanted. "I'm giving it to you for driving me home – that's the highest cab fare I've ever paid!"

But it was kinda like one of Titanic Thompson's propositions, a bet that I couldn't lose. In fact, anytime that you thought you had the nuts on Titanic, brother, you were a goner. But I'll save those stories for another time.

Dick was thankful that I let him off so easy, and the weekend before Thanksgiving, I received something to be really thankful for myself – a poker tournament named after me. Ocean's Eleven Casino in Oceanside, California, held the Let the Good Times Roll with Cowboy Wolford tournament, and Bob Moyer, general manager, presented me with a nice plaque and said some good things about me. Chuck McCormick, casino manager, and Star McCormick, tournament director, made everybody feel right at home. Lots of my friends came in for the action, including Robert Turner, Tex Nabors (a good ol' cowboy like me), Fernando Bolanos, and Walt Weber (an octogenarian who's still playing good poker). To top off the weekend, the North County Times newspaper ran a feature article on me titled "The Real Deal."

Editor's note: Byron "Cowboy" Wolford is the author of Cowboys, Gamblers & Hustlers, now available through Card Player. For more information on his new book, visit the web at www.pokerbooks.com.